Say you’re seeing someone regularly. Going on dates, spending the night with each other and texting everyday. How long would you personally be willing to wait for that person to be ready to make the relationship official?
I’ve been going on dates with this guy and really like him. In the past I’ve had situations where I was seeing a guy for awhile (like at least a couple months) and he never ended up wanting to commit. Obviously I’m looking for that and the guy I’m seeing knows what I want. It’s only been a few weeks so it’s too early to make things official. He says he’s looking for a relationship too, but his dating profile says “don’t know” in his looking for. I’m probably reading too much into it, but I don’t want to waste my time with someone again only for a lableless situationship to come out of it. I hate to have that mindset, but it’s gotten so much harder to get into a relationship these days, and guys who I don’t think would lead me on hand led me on
So far it seems promising, but with online dating we all know things can change in a day. Assuming I keep seeing him, at what point would it seem like he’s just leading me on? A month? 2 months? Longer? I know it’s different for everyone but I’m just looking for second opinions. I’m trying not to repeat mistakes I’ve made in the past by waiting too long
5 comments
A month is sufficient to know where things are at.
You have to base it more on time spent together than the calendar. A month might be 4 dates or 20+.
The main thing is not what other people do, it’s what your comfortable with for that guy.
What I mean by that is, decide for yourself when, if you told the guy you like him but will need to stop seeing him unless he commits, and he says no and leaves, would you still be happy with your decision?
For some people it’s after a few dates, for others, either due to their comfort with ambiguity or how much they like that particular guy, they are willing to wait a lot longer.
The point is that just going with some weighted average of Reddit’s opinions is not going to make you happy, you have to decide for yourself.
In my experience 1-2 months gives you enough time to realise if you want to make it official. Personally I wouldn’t wait more than that.
You’re dating, so simply ask him if he’s dating anyone else. I’m assuming you’re not and want a committed relationship. His answer will tell you exactly where HE’S at. Then go from there. Easy peasy