Why is it wrong to date in the workplace

25 comments

1. Guys, I’m 30m. I have low self esteem but I’ve been with a few girls.

   I have this situation where I land up with girls I’m not head over heals with which is fine BUT

   I have a situation I’d like some advice on.

   I’m average (or less than average) looking. A likeable personality but height is against me

   There’s a girl at work (25f) that I’m really interested in. I’ve never had the confidence in asking girls out but she feels like a catch.

   It’s hard to gauge whether she has any interest in me but I want to shoot my shot. Worst case I get rejected and feel the pain and at best I finally land up with someone I’d be proud to be with.

   I know you shouldn’t eat where you shit but I’m not a senior level employee and we work in different fields.

   Should I do it? Also would you recommend subtly dropping hints or go straight for the kill?

2. Do you like your job? Scratch that, do you like being able to pay bills and eat food? Don’t date coworkers, you dumbass.

   >Worst case I get rejected and feel the pain and at best I finally land up with someone I’d be proud to be with

   No, the worst case scenario is that she complains to HR and you get fired.

3. Dude smarten up, things go south it can get really awkward really fast. Plus she might be a psychopath and try to get you fired

4. Never fish off the company pier.

   Don’t shit where you eat.

5. Worst case, sexual harassment lawsuit. Best case, you can make extra income starting out an OF with her at the work place.

6. I kinda tried it once and I learned that it wasn’t for me. Mostly because my coping mechanism when something doesn’t work out is to cut off the person. And that isn’t realistic when you work in the same building.

7. It’s about liability. Companies don’t want to deal with the subjectivity of relationships. When things go south, affection becomes harassment, this opens itself to so many legal issues that it is better to evade it completely.

   On a personal level the same, when things go wrong, it’s uncomfortable for everyone to have former couples around, gets awkward and upsetting quite fast.

8. Cons – I ended up marrying her

   Pros – there were no MeToo allegations

9. Who said its wrong? The work police?

10. If things go wrong you two are still trapped to be around. It’s ok if both of you are decent people, but there are so many non-decent out there, you never know. I got out of the dating market before the metoo thing, but it’s there for a reason.

11. Not worth, unless you have a job you don’t care about

12. Lots of cons. If a relationship goes sour in the workplace, then it can affect your job quality and lead to unwanted drama.

13. [deleted]

14. It isn’t wrong, it just can go wrong. Imagine you date one of those girls that lights your car on fire and murders your pet fish. Now imagine that same girl is your coworker.

15. Because of new social programming

16. – You have to see your ex everyday if you break up.
    – Every small irritation, raised voice that would typically occur in private is in public view for everyone see and scrutinised. Your private lives become office gossip.
    – It complicates things if one is the subordinate of the other and they have to be unbiased or implement disciplinary action.
    – Spending all day, every day with your partner sounds like torture to me.

    Some have made it work but most fail. I wouldn’t dare.

17. Unless you are in the same chain of command there is nothing wrong with it at all.

    Most Redditors are the kind of people who try to form relationships with people they don’t know based on looks and whose relationships all end very badly, so naturally they are afraid of a situation where they end up being around their former lovers.

    For most of us normal folks, though, it isn’t that much of a problem.

18. All these “don’t shit where you eat” people? Nice analogy, folks. Can tell why you’re single. Of course you are going to date co workers, and of course it can be awkward. What’s the option? Online dating? What guy is going to put himself through that? Go up to women in public? Enjoy being outed as a creep on social media. I’ve been seeing my work colleague for over a decade now and you know why it worked? Because we are grown ups and faced up to the issues in grown up ways. You can too.

19. Had a relationship with a girl I worked very closely with (we were pretty much a two person department who spent all day, every day together). It went to shit. Work was awful.

20. Only one way for it to go right. Hundred billion ways it can go wrong. I guess you need to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?

21. Other co-workers will be jealous and cause trouble.

    The boss my object to wasting work time socializing.

    When it ends you will have to work with your ex.

    You may get accused of “sexual harassment” or worse and fired.

    No matter what happens it will be bad for your job or career.

22. Ah the ol’ asking to see the inner workings of HR, and subsequently the unemployment line with a light flavour of a sexual harassment charge against you game …

23. It’s not, it’s just a Reddit thing.

24. It’s not wrong. It’s just risky. If it’s just some retail job or something, date away. But if it’s a career, you need to think twice about it.

    That said, plenty of people are happily married to someone they met at work, so I wouldn’t deny a strong connection with someone. Just don’t sleep around. Make sure it’s worth the risk.

25. Wrong, no – unwise, definitely.

    Work, at least most places, is a captive group of people – they have to be there and in close proximity. A couple who date is very likely to make everyone else uncomfortable, which only gets much, much worse when it ends.

    Others are uncomfortable, not your problem – sure, but they will quickly make it your problem.

    Keep captive groups drama free.