My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I am a virgin. There was no foreplay just immediately took my clothes and then his off. He started and I felt uncomfortable pressure. Tried to tell him something felt off. He just keeps doing it and says “you’re fine”. Until he sees there is blood on him. Didn’t ask if I was ok. Just left to shower. I look down. I’m the one bleeding. It’s all over the bed. He ripped me down there. This was my first time. I’m horrified.
5 comments
I mean what he did wasn’t cool, but without details of how exactly you expressed your discomfort it’s hard to say. Did you tell him to stop or that you didn’t want to do it? I only say this because there can be uncomfortable moments during consensual sex, it doesn’t mean the person experiencing the discomfort wants to stop completely. Either way, if he was caring and compassionate he should have asked if you were ok to continue and not just make assumptions. You need to think about whether you should stay with someone who would treat you like that.
Bleeding is not an uncommon experience with virginity loss—even if you were properly aroused you likely would have bled. But he obviously should have taken more care to make sure you were still enthusiastically wanting to do what you two were doing.
Did you want to try to have sex for the first time?
Did you ask him to stop?
Did you tell him he was hurting you?
Whether or not this was rape is dependent on whether or not you consented to having sex and whether or not you withdrew that consent at any point. Your BF is clearly selfish and didn’t care how you were feeling, but that in itself doesn’t make it rape if he believed you wanted to be having sex. If you said stop and/or made it clear he was hurting you and you’d changed your mind, then that’s rape. Unfortunately vague statements about something feeling off are not the same as saying stop. Even if he didn’t technically rape you, you is a very inconsiderate partner and you should think about whether or not you want to be with someone who cares so little about your well-being, your discomfort, and your pleasure.
sounds just like bad sex to me, as it appears you agreed to it. bleeding is common for the first time. google it. he likely didnt “rip” you. even if he did he likely didnt intend to. as you two have sex more and more it will get better. you need to figure out what you like.
Either way he stinks at emotional wellness and decency
You deserve better
Edit: spelling
No.