My (22m) girlfriend (21f) just found she was pregnant last week on Monday. This was totally unexpected, we both agreed we wanted to have kids but at some point in the future, not any time soon. So when she told me, she was crying, a lot. I was very calm, told her everything was going to be okay, and thankfully we have options in our state. We had both agreed that taking a Plan C medical abortion would be good for us, since neither one us think we’re ready for a baby. We scheduled an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get the pill, and that appointment is tomorrow. But naturally, over the course of the week, we’ve gone back and forth countless times, trying to consider our future if we have the baby, and what the repercussion would be of the abortion.
We both started out wanting the abortion, as she is very pro choice, and I as a male, feel like she has every right to make that choice. So there was no disagreement there. But over the course of the week, we both agree that when you’re the one in the position considering the abortion, it just feels unethical when you’re actually in the situation and you know that there’s already a growing embryo inside her. Of course, she’s pregnant and she’s already an emotional person, so she’s been very stressed, unsure of what she wants to do, not sure how our families would react, etc.
I am onboard if the decision is an abortion, but I am also very willing to take on the responsibility of our actions and take care of this baby. We’re both very unsure of what we want to do, we have great support around us in the fact that I’m very close with my family and she is very close with hers. My main concern through all of this is I don’t want either decision to cause any harm in our relationship with one another. I can feel how stressed she is when I’m with her even though I can tell she’s trying to hold it all together. We’re young, very unsure of what to do, I want to support her every way that I can. Our appointment is tomorrow and we still don’t know what decision to make. Any advice would help!!
TLDR; my 21 girlfriend is pregnant and we’re considering an abortion, very unsure of what we want to do. Situation is causing a lot of stress on both of us.
2 comments
That’s quite a tough situation. I think you guys should do whatever makes you both feel comfortable and assured about the future.
Ask as many questions as you want, remember no question is stupid and express all your concerns and explore the options. Tell them to let you know whatever you’re not asking and they think you should know. Think it over for a day or two, you’ll probably have more questions for them afterwards and it also could help if you can bring a person close to both of you to bring an extra pair of ears.
I wish you all the best and I hope I was of any help.
What are your plans for the present and future? Because if you plan to get a degree, travel, enjoy your youth, etc. this is all over if you have that baby. Your finances will also go down the drain, because i doubt you have a lot of buffer at your age. If I was you and I’m a few years older I would still go through with the abortion, because at this stage a kid would ruin my life. Would I love it? Sure, but I would always feel like I missed out on things and opportunities. At this stage you wouldn’t even recognize the embryo as human, there are no limbs and it’s pretty much just a bunch of cells moving around and differentiating. Visually it would probably look like pulling out snot from your nose at this point. Not sure if that helps but if you want to stay unattached that’s how i would look at it as someone in the medical field.