My partner is a bit bigger and wickedly insecure about his appearance. I want to (and try to) gas him up, tell him how hot he is, but he just doesn’t see himself or his body as attractive under any circumstance.

What are some things I can tell him or do for him to make him feel good? TIA!

22 comments

  4. Tell him to find security in the fact some one loves him. Alot of us want to be the fat guy with charm and charisma that wins the girl over, and alot of us fail horribly myself included. His other option is to hit the gym, and fix his diet.

  6. I’ve been both thin and fat, and one thing I’ve never liked to hear when I’ve been overweight is that I’m “soft” or “squishy.” I’d say “cuddly” is about as far as you should go that direction.

    Instead, if you want to build him up, focus on him being big and strong and imposing, that kind of thing. Think Andre The Giant or Maui from Moana, when you’re reaching try to reach in that sort of direction.

    “You make me feel safe, and that makes you sexy” or “your arms are so big!” That type of stuff.

  7. Properly fit cloths.

    If you’re just used to off the rack, it can be particularly unflattering. Something tailored or just better fit for your body type is so much better.

  8. Watch Sopranos with him so he can see the sexual appeal of Tony Soprano on full display

  9. Pay your hottest friend to “seduce” him and have sex with his chunky ass. If a hot woman who isn’t taking his money wants to have sex with him he will likely believe he is very attractive.

  11. Pick a specific feature and compliment him on it. Example: I put a lot of effort into maintaining and grooming my beard (~10 inches) and I like receiving compliments on it because it makes me feel like the effort is noticed.

    Someone told me once that I have “kind eyes” and I’ve never forgotten it.

  13. Standing next to a bigger chick. Makes me look less of a fat slob. She is a cow so I’m good.

  14. punch a couple extra holes in his belt.

    What? You want a fantasy, or something you can really do?

  16. Personally I groom myself, but compliments are extremely effective against me so sneaking in compliments that don’t feel artificial or forced go a long way. Start subtle, slowly even, and over the next few months increase the compliments.

  18. Take him for a walk and talk about life. Repeat this step twice a day for 6 months, slowly speeding up the pace. He should feel better about his appearance eventually.

  19. Some advice that isn’t just people being needlessly cruel. People who put weight on easily usually have bigger builds in general, so he may have wide shoulders or big hands maybe even a decent arse on him. Mention one of those things that holds true to him and go with it. I’ve got a few extra pounds but I love it when people talk about how wide my shoulders are, because we’ll they are wide and I can do strong people things with them.

  20. if he’s morbidly obese i have no idea everything that comes to mind feels like i’d be pandering. If he’s a chunky boy go throw him to the cougars they’ll give him all kinds of compliments and flirt with him and some of those ladies are not bad looking

  21. Don’t want to be that guy but if he hates it so much maybe he needs to do something about it to feel better. I was the same with my body years ago, hated my pudgy guts so I hit the gym, I’ve never owned a set of abs lol I’m fine with just not having a stomach that folds up when you sit down and more muscle.
    There’s nothing you can say that he won’t just think your saying to try make him feel better and nothing will beat actually being happy with how you look.

  22. He’s not happy with his body. No matter what you say or do it won’t change a thing. Talk to him about why he thinks and feels this way, and what he can do about it. Support him in whatever it is that will make him love his body again ( as long as it’s not crossing any of your boundaries ofc. ).

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