At what point in a relationship do you expect to be made a priority in your SO’s life?

14 comments

1. To be honest, I’d expect to see that BEFORE entering a relationship (in the dating/getting to know each other phase), not that I have to be number 1 priority but they need to be willing to make space for me in their life. For me that would look something like spending time together a couple of times a week including at least 2 weekends a month. Obviously there are times when life gets in the way, but I would expect someone to try to make time for me from the start.

2. I don’t feel that this is a scale waiting to be tipped. In what I would consider a healthy relationship, both partners (or all partners) should understand that personal time and space, as well as work, and time with friends or family, are all important, and that there will always need to be a balance to stay healthy. There will be ebbs and flows in how much time is dedicated where, but that is normal. What’s important is always checking back in with each other. Clear, honest communication is always key.

3. That all depends on the context and priorities being discussed, but if we aren’t a priority in each other’s lives, I don’t see the point in having a relationship.

4. Straight away. Wanting to be in a relationship with someone is wanting to make them part of your life, imo.

5. It the point where the dating is exclusive.

6. Once the discussion happens – I feel like there’s always some point of a mutual establishment and that’s typically what I base it off of. That can be different for everyone.

7. What are the things? If we are talking about development, then a man should strive for development, and girls too. My young man aspired to become a marketer, and I pursued my hobbies and work. We supported and helped each other. And after a year we decided to get married. Because we felt that we love and support each other.

   We saw each other 1-3 times a week. But we really wanted to see each other more often.

8. Never. My partners will always have other things – family, children, friends, work, hobbies. Being included among those things is something I expect, but I never expect to be prioritized.

9. I’d expect my partner to be able to make time for an SO before we start dating. Otherwise, why look for a serious relationship.

   I would want my partner to have a good balance for our relationship and the other things going on in their lives. If they haven’t seen a group of friends in a while, I wouldn’t expect them to spend time with me all the time. You gotta have balance.

10. When we start dating exclusively. I’m not saying forsake everything else in favor of me all the time, because that is toxic af. But if we are dating seriously, I expect to be a priority, otherwise, what’s the point?

11. Right away.

12. I would expect to be made a priority in my SO’s life early on in the relationship.

13. Never. I don’t want my partner to prioritize me over other important parts of their life, that seems unhealthy.

14. I guess I’m an outlier. When my boyfriend and I met, my daughter and I were coordinating our daily schedules to provide 24 hr care for her fiancé, who was bedridden with a critical illness, and also co-parenting her two children. I didn’t expect to find anyone who would understand that my evenings were 100% dedicated to home care. He, on the other hand, is very involved in co-parenting his children with his ex-wife. He didn’t think he would find anyone who’d understand and not be jealous of his situation. From the very beginning, we’ve both just understood and agreed that our children come first. If we have plans, but my daughter’s fiancé has a sudden health issue, our plans get changed. If we’re doing something, and one of his kids calls and needs help with a broken down car, he goes. Our kids come first, for both of us, and we both understand that and it works.

    I think the most important thing is that your priorities align. If you make your SO a priority, but they put other things ahead of you, it’s probably not a good match. I’d say communication is more important that a hard-and-fast timeline.