There are a lot of anecdotes on how people treat you better the more “in shape” you are physically. I did notice this as well. I have been different sizes throughout my life, and it is true people are more polite to you in general if you are thinner vs being fatter.
However, this is not as much as people make it out to be. I gained a lot of weight during the pandemic, to the point where I’m not obese, but definitely in the “overweight category.” However, I also went to a top law school and am coming out making $200,000/a year. I also invested heavily in practicing my social skills and confidence, and upgrading my fashion (I’m a dude) to well fitting and flattering clothes. I’ve developed a sense of humor and slight charisma, and have been active in hosting gatherings in my nice luxury Manhattan apartment.
As a result, I am the most “popular” by far at this point in my life having a pot belly than I was when I was much better physically looking (I used to have a six pack believe it or not) but was shy, socially awkward, insecure, dressed poorly, and did not make much income. This goes to show that weight is just one component of how people view/treat you, and while it matters, it is just one factor.
I do want to slim down eventually for health benefits, although as much hate as this will get, I don’t want to do the gym rat lifestyle because I do like to eat food and feel physically lazy at times. And I’m sure people may treat even more nicer if I do slim down.
But while people may not look at me and make a snap judgement that I am attractive, I have had no trouble in forming friendships, dating women (including fit attractive ones), having sex, getting invites to things (even from fit conventionally attractive people) etc.
21 comments
Indeed. People like to pull out this argument for a lot of things. “Confidence alone won’t…”, “Being in shape alone won’t…”, “Fashion alone won’t…” and it’s true. Anybody who says “confidence is the only thing you need” is probably not helping you much. I’m sure you’ve seen people with absolute confidence, but you didn’t immediately want to become friends with them because they seemed hostile, socially awkward, relentless talker, etc.
Being pretty good in all but one category is far better than being the best in one and terrible in the others.
The charming prince with a luxury apartment in Manhattan (why no Paris? Those are cooler) came here to Reddit to explain how his live cannot be any better? Why exactly?
I don’t understand posts like these, like someone claiming to be so incredibly confident yet they still hold other people’s approval to this extremely high standard? Is it actually confidence if you’re only practicing it so others will validate you? Confident people don’t have to hold looks, money, and sex to this ridiculous standard. You don’t chase after confidence so other people will treat you well. You have this idea that you need to chase after a 6 figure salary, live in a luxury apartment, have sex all the time, and wear designer clothes; not even for yourself, but for other people to treat you nice. It’s all material surface level shit to placate other’s opinions.
I myself have lost weight and gained confidence but didn’t notice much of a change. I think my boost in confidence didn’t so much affect how people treated me, it just allowed me to not care so much about how people treated me or whether or not they approved. I’ll dress how I want, and I’ll live my life how I want. Not everybody will approve but such is life.
Wtf this got to do with social skills?
It’s mostly people that have known you when you were fat and then saw you lose weight that will compliment you because they know you’ve lost weight. but people who you’ve never met before only know this version of you. I can tell you this from my own experience. Though, this shouldn’t stop you from losing weight because in the end you should be doing it for yourself.
of course status attracts, but honestly it’s easier for most people to become fit than to buy 1/10 of that Manhattan appartment
thanks for the easy life hack ill go submit my application to a top law school right now!
Screenshotting this thank you
Edit: wow the other replies are so negative. Sad 🙁 this post is really motivating for me personally
how did you “develop” a sense of humour? you don’t come across as the sort of person that would be particularly funny from this post
Tell me you are insecure without telling me.
Did you know Elon Musk is more popular despite being fat than a random gym guy who is ripped but no one knows.
I bet this was a big shocker to your right?
Breaking news: Man making 200K a year is getting play.
Next story: Rottweiler eats unattended slice of pizza off of coffee table.
You think weight matters? No it’s all about personality my friend. Look at Chris Farley. Fat slob screwed hookers and snorted coke all day.
? Ya but the idea is to strive for all 3
Confidence, money, and good looks and health.
Ur missing the point, imagine how much better u would be doing if u had ur job, AND were fit
Ur missing the motivation to pursue all 3 and sounds like from this post, looking for the easy way out. Not trying to judge, majority of population doesn’t have the willpower to strive for all 3 I myself include but those who do usually reap the rewards
Calm down everyone .___.
Lot doesn’t add up here. Big Law is notorious for 90+ hr/wk (no time for social stuff) and $200k with a luxury Manhattan apartment is nothing it’s like $90k in FL or $75k in Texas (adjusting CoL). There’s a ton of people making $500k plus in Manhattan (partners in Law, Docs, Consulting Partners, Tech Managers, etc.) so you can’t live that large w/o sacrificing all your savings.
Plus OP confidence comes from within and real friends stick with you when all that disappears. Keep working on yourself and searching. You got this
OP this backfired didn’t it
Likely when people are thinner they are more confident and this may be the reason for the positive reception from others. Just like now you are more confident through investing in yourself and having a nice income so you can afford to do things which translates into confidence and positive reception.
The question is are these superficial positive responses?
I don’t get the point of this post lol. Yes, making good money and hosting events in your “luxury Manhattan apartment” help make you more popular among your peers. Being physically fit also influences how people treat you.
These things aren’t mutually exclusive.
This reads like someone who isn’t confident at all trying to come across as such. Also, your title implies losing weight and gaining confidence are mutually exclusive. One can lead to the other, in both directions, and probably will. Also why is this on r/socialskills lmao
“Chequera mata galan” is an old saying in a lot of hispanic countries. Wealth triumphs over looks