Do I continue this? I need help fast
a after F15, dating a M15: I don’t know if I should break up with him or not. We’ve been having problems ever since my mother made us “break up”. For more context, my mom doesn’t like him and eventually made me break up with him but i am dating him behind her back and I only see him at school and talk through snap, but damn I love him. We’ve been together for 6 months now and it’s a lot to let go. We’ve been through a lot together and I’ve been there at his worst. I talked him out of suicide, helped him cope with self harm, and he stopped drinking and vaping once we started dating. But recently he got distant. Iast night I log on to my friends snap and I open snaps from the gc titled “nic addicts“ I see him vaping and drinking. He started doing it again which kind of upsets me because he made a promise not to anymore. But again recently, he’s been distant and I’ve been unhappy. He isn’t the same, and he’s been getting mad at me a lot and just irritable. He has caused me to cry at school, and start to be flat out rude which just isn’t him. When I try to tell him I’m upset about somethings he says or does he makes me feel bad for being upset and says it pisses him off. He has done nothing but honestly drag me down, I haven’t been focusing In school and lately he has been dry and conversations are one sided. I asked him tonight if he thinks things have changed between us and replies “eh” and eventually after talking more he says it’s just he hates not being more and being kept a secret. But when I ask for reassurance on him still wanting our relationship and being happy he is dry, so I continue to ask what he is thinking. Eventually he gets mad and says hurtful things like “just leave me life couldn’t get any worse.” I ask if even cares about losing me at that point and he says ofc he does but I shouldn’t need reassurance and listen the first time :/ it’s honestly a lot, Ik he’s not good for me and he brings me down, or at least that’s what friends and family say.. but it’s hard to let him go, but this could be one sided. To top it off, the reason I even came here is bc when I was trying to talk to him, he was facetiming a girl and I offer to go so he can talk to her, but then explains he wont know when that is and it will be long. He also was at a girls house yesterday, but they’re just friends but still I question his honestly because of the drinking and vaping yk :/ but I’m so attached and I don’t want to lose him, this is honestly so hard for me.. what if this causes suicide, self harm, or him talking crap about me; I don’t honestly know. I couldn’t stand to see him with anyone else and I still have heavy feelings for him
5 comments
I know you love him but you have to love yourself more ): Is he worth losing yourself over? The thing is — a relationship can’t be saved if you’re the only one fighting for it. You are so, so young and you will meet someone who will love you 10x this. You should definitely let him go. If he destroys himself, that’s on him. Of course it will be hard to see but really it’s either him or you. Please choose yourself
Please cut off this troubled guy. He’s no good for you, your self esteem or confidence. Your mother is right so listen to her and talk to people who love you. You’re 15 and have your whole life ahead of you. If you start dating these types of losers now, you’ll end up in worst relationships as an adult. Please see a counselor to get emotional support, talk to a sibling, friends anyone you know cares about you.
He sounds like a selfish energy vampire. Listen to your mom.
Dude got issues. I think Iight be able to understand what he is thinking but it doesn’t really matter either way. U are trying to be reasonable, uve talked to him and tried to come to a compromise at least. But if he can’t be rational at all then he ain’t worth it. Some people get absorbed playing the victim they don’t realise that everyone has problems of their own. Even if his problems are much worse he still should consider your situation. I guess he just became entitled and he won’t come back to his senses unless he loses you. If you really care about him and want to help him you gotta some some tough love. Like if he don’t get his shit together you will leave. And you gotta be serious about it. You can’t give everything to someone on a silver plater. This is probably the best approach as anything that happens afterwards is not your liability and you will feel less guilty
I’d agree with ur mom, it’s rough but love isn’t the only thing to think about in a relationship