Husband finishes too quickly in a certain position

38 comments

1. Turn the light off?

2. Keep a shirt on?

3. Why don’t you offer to masturbate for him, then have sex?

   Have sex then give him a break (provide some affection) until he’s ready & willing to go again?

4. Does sex end when he’s done? Can’t he use some other way to finish you off if he is too quick?

5. I had this problem. My solution was to relax and get some toys. We got an inflatable wedge pillow. I put that under my butt to raise me up a bit so she is in more of a sitting position. The problem was that when I lifted her up, that tensed up some large muscle groups, and that means I couldn’t relax, so the O would show up in seconds. With the pillow ,and the conscious action to relax, I can last much longer.

   We also got a narrow bench for the foot of the bed. I lie on that, she mounts me, I can relax and let her grind or bounce as she likes.

   The O often requires large muscle groups to tense up. Ever give a beej and he tenses his legs before he comes? That’s it. Active relaxation on his part can extend the act considerably.

   Or maybe you are just that hot, in which case, use a light switch. 🙂

6. Maybe help him with the part he doesn’t do first, then focus on you until he’s ready again?

7. Manual/oral stimulation to orgasm, then he gets you off, and then back to sex. Or just take a break in the middle to get you off and go back to sex. A lot of dudes last longer the second time.

8. Has he always been this way?

9. C-ring helped us. Husband used to have an issue finishing too quickly, used a c-ring, fixed it lol now he doesn’t have to use it but we do sometimes because it vibrates and I like it lol

10. Pregaming helps. Basically before the big event he needs to cum then allow natural refractory time and have a second round for him. Also, desensitizing wipes or even thicker condoms can help slow things down.

11. my advice: foreplay until you are ready to finish… make the actual piv the last few minutes and not the first

12. Condoms make me last way longer.

13. Give him a blow job, then come back 30 minutes later and start it up again. I find that if i finish 30 minutes before the big event….i can go for about 1.5 hours on the second round.

    Really only 15 minutes on the first go if their is no foreplay.

    My wife and i usually do hands and oral for about an hour, and then go to different positions/back to oral and hands for about 30 minutes….by that time, she is done and then i finish..

    Maybe a strategy like this will work

14. As a man who use to have this problem, one of the best things that fixed it for me was weed believe it or not. Other than that hes just gotta learn to distract himself when its coming up.

15. Does he wear condoms? I know I last much longer with a condom on than without one.

16. He’s gotta do the work. Practice holding on. I had the very same thing with my first wife. It took some doing, but eventually, I got to a point that I could hold on for as long as it took. Well worth the effort, I must say!

    But here’s the problem…if he’s got a lesser libido, why is he such a fast shooter? There is probably something unresolved. Try talking about it, maybe set up a couple of therapy sessions.

17. Just out of curiosity, why doesn’t he masturbate? I’ve struggled with PE in the past and masturbating the same day as sex helped me a ton. It’s actually more a mental thing for a lot of people. It’s almost like the pressure of trying not to orgasm actually makes you orgasm faster (at least in my experience). That doesn’t mean you’re pressuring him, it just means that subconsciously he knows he needs to last longer.

    Another side note, sometimes ED can cause PE as well. It’s the same idea, the pressure of knowing you’ll go soft makes you finish too quickly. I wasn’t sure what his age was.

18. He need to get off more regularly. Whether by himself or ideally with you

    But it sounds like you are HL and he is LL

    this will only get worse

19. Practice ‘edging’.

20. There are a few things that helped me. First was ramp up the fore play (especially on your side). Kissing, oral on you, other things that turn you on, that way riding on him can be the icing on the cake and everyone can feel more satisfied.

    The next thing I would say is there are definite techniques that he can learn to slow him self down (not tensing his body as he pushes into you, breathing steadily and not holding breath, that type of thing). The only thing is that this requires buy in from him and he has to want to learn how to extend the session. I see you said there was a libido disconnect too which generally means more sexual communication needs to take place (outside of the bedroom) to try and reconcile that. I know things got better for me and my wife once I opened up to her more about what I actually want in bed and the frequency as well as what sex “means ” to me. I was pretty venerable with her at one point asking her to listen to some podcasts that helped me clarify my own feelings and helped me verbalize that to my wife and that helped us tremendously

    Finally there are some products that can help in terms of physical sensations going to far. There are some delaying sprays and creams that can desensitize the penis and not transfer to the woman. I have used promescent delay spray before and it has helped me last a bit longer. Hope this was helpful!

21. Buy some lidocaine spray or the Roman wipes. It numbs his pee pee so he doesn’t bust as quickly. It works lol

22. If you want a solution that works nearly 100% of the time and is affordable then just look up Stud 100 and expirement with how much to apply and timing. The problem will be immediately solved.

23. Try lots of foreplay where you can orgasm twice before penetration that way you won’t care how long he lasts as long as he can get in a few decent strokes you’ll both be satisfied.

24. I have exactly the same problem except I am the male partner. When my wife is riding me I can’t handle it.
    She is gorgeous, and SHE is fucking ME, and it’s tight, and sexy, and … I just can’t last.

    I am also abstaining from all porn and masturbation currently, so I also understand the issues that come with that too.

    I can see both sides here, and without assigning any blame, I think this is something he will have to work on to fix, not something you should be adjusting.

    Things I am doing to try and fix this:

    – Take care of myself the morning before a planned date to get the easy finish out of the way (I am not hardcore abstaining so this is not an issue for me)

    – I have started doing male Kegel exercises, as I have read this can aid in staying power (and increase bloodflow to a very important area).

    – Practice basically. Focusing on calming myself and mentally staying attentive but moving focus away from my physical sensations.

    I feel bad for you on the frequency side. If it was a few times a week I bet the issue would start to solve itself.

    Hope things work out for you.

25. Why doesn’t he close his eyes?

26. He needs to find something else to think about. Like for me I think about things like concerts I’ve been to or the sounds of a baseball game.

27. Some men come too quick because they masturbate I thought lol men are weird.

    And if turning off lights doesn’t work it could be you just need to change up the angle. Lean forward, or back. Or turn around reverse cowgirl.

    It’s just in the one position I wish I had this problem.

28. Try different positions.
    Finish with you on top.
    Everyone is happy.

29. No BS my secret weapon is numbing spray for sex. Just like 3 sprays. Rub it in, let it set, and wipe it off in 15 minutes or so and you’re golden. Has made me last way longer during sessions. I also do foreplay on her beforehand.

30. Him masturbating may not help…you masturbating using a vibrating toy may “train” your orgasm to need that sensation to finish meaning you’ll take longer therefore it will not help. We are a 5-6x a week couple and some days are longer than others, but we’ve adjusted:

    1. Because he finished doesn’t mean that sex has to be over. There’s more to it than penis/vagina – we all know that.

    2. Toys. They are teammates.

31. Masturbating a lot isn’t going to prevent him from not cumming. If he jerked it a lot he probably wouldn’t even want sex since he’d be getting his fix on his own.

    Kegels (not just for women) can help in controlling and stopping him from going over the point if no return.

    Desensitization either in sex sprays or another method but who knows if they are actually safe.

    Orrrr get a penis sleeve!!!

    This is one of the reasons why I got a sleeve and the added size increase is definitely a plus for the wife. You can ride till your hearts content and he can enjoy the convulsions and exorcisms that you will get from the sleeve lol.

    r/PenisSleeve

32. I’d bust after 30 seconds if I was only getting stimulation once every couple weeks.

    More frequent sex will make it better.

    Have him check his testosterone.

    Maybe therapy if he is avoiding intimacy for some reason.

33. We save the positionsbwhere he finishes faster for “round 2” sex rather than “round one.” I’m not sure it actually makes any difference timing wise but if I’m already happy after round one I’m less disappointed if round two is short.

34. People can see that you commented as another person in this post lol.

35. Lol be super wet for him and be proud your tight. Me and my hubby been together 10 years and we tried a few 3sums. I watched my hubby last so long with other girls but I learned it’s because they were super wet.

36. Try socking him one or pinching the ever-loving shit out of his nipples, but be careful, do something too painful and he could lose his erection. We men are such fragile beings

37. Serious question…
    Are you giving him head before you get on at any point? I’ve noticed that this can really decrease the length of time that PIV can happen. I try to do minimal amounts of that at the beginning just to get it going but do not stay on it for more than a couple of minutes. You can always come back to it later- but too much of it at the beginning gets them too close to the edge to last during PIV

38. Can confirm the visuals in that position are off the chart.