I’m 17, a senior in highschool and there is this girl in my class who I’ve been crushing on for 2 years. I’m sure most people would’ve moved on but in my school situation we see each other every day and there’s no one to distract me from her. Throughout the 2 years we’ve became pretty close, everything but intimate. She’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever known. Not just physically but personality-wise as well. We’ve hung out together so many times, and had so many deep conversations about how we see the world, and through that I’ve fallen completely in love with her. Of course being the prettiest girl in our entire school, which is small, has lead to all the guys trying to get with her and they end up getting upset with me cause I’m always with her. Because of that she is my only real friend, and on top of that she is the most real relationship I’ve had with anyone whether it be romantic or otherwise in my entire life. She’s changed my outlook on the world and I’ve become a better person because of her. But here’s what lead me to make this post. Last night was the annual Christmas parade downtown in our city. Obviously I wanted to go with her and she agreed. So we spend the evening getting hot chocolate, going on a horse drawn carriage, Christmas things. Then her family gets there and the parade starts. I’ve never met her family but I know her parents are separated because I drive her to and from school and she’s talked to me about it before. Anyway, she introduces me to her mom and the rest of her family (really big btw) and we watch the parade together. Then here’s what caught me off guard. Her mom invites me to come over after the parade, as her family was having a get together that night. My friend protested, I think she was embarrassed. Hesitantly I accept, and her and I go over there. Her family is really nice and my friend even mentioned that I’m the first guy friend she’s had over, and that her mom really seemed to like me for some reason, which I found heartwarming I guess. We hang out for a while in the living room watching TV while her family is in the kitchen and dining room just talking and making dinner. The food was amazing. At this point it’s pretty late and I feel as though I’ve overstayed so I try to leave but her mom physically blocked the door and insisted I stayed, said I could stay as long as I want, and even joking about me spending the night if I want. I wasn’t on a time constraint so I agreed to stay for a while. After a bit my friend goes up to her room and I’m left at the dining table talking to her uncles when 15 minutes later her mom comes in and asks where my friend went. I told her and she practically dragged me up stairs and into my friend’s room and tells her to be nice and hang out with me. I again protest because I really was just enjoying talking to her family downstairs but her mom again insists I stay there. So we sat there awkwardly for about 5 minutes when she suggests a board game and I say I’m down for it. We play games for around an hour and the whole time there was this weird tension. I can’t describe it as sexual or anything like that because I’m a giant virgin and don’t really know how that feels but there was definitely a tension, and we kept catching each other glancing at one another. I soon realize it’s almost midnight and scramble to leave because now I’ve definitely over stayed. Everyone was still there so I awkwardly walk down with her and say my goodbyes and leave. I wake up this morning to see I’ve been left on delivered for 6 hours because I had messaged her before I went to sleep and said how it was fun and it’d be great to do it again, because her mom AGAIN insisted that I come back soon. It’s now 9pm and I haven’t heard from her but I can’t stop thinking about her. There’s this weird feeling of… emptiness? For lack of a better description? I don’t know if I’m sad or angry at myself for not being the type of guy she’s attracted to, or if I just want to see her again, or if I don’t actually have the feelings I think I have for her. I really just don’t know and it’s tearing me up. I just wanna know if anyone else has felt like this and if I should do anything about it. Sorry for the long read but thanks for any advice.