Hey all. I [Posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/yomsmd/found_a_tinder_verification_code_on_my_partners/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) last month about finding a Tinder verification code in my partners phone. A few people requested an update, and although it is not super exciting, here it is.
I sat on the information for a while, while I thought over the advice I was given here. She recently passed a professional examination, and we threw a party for her. She lives very far away from her family, so I decided to surprise her with a video package of her relatives congratulating her. Putting together the video package involved going through her phone and getting relatives phone numbers. Although I knew for a while, a week after the party, I asked her if I could ask her a question and told her what I saw.
She explained that she downloaded tinder because I had expressed offhandedly a few months before that my fantasy would be to have a threesome. I seriously doubt it, because threesomes aren’t really her thing, nor did she ever express interest in one.
Sad to say, I have not reached any resolution, nor have I gathered any actionable intel. Again, I am probably going to give her the benefit of the doubt, as she has been extremely transparent with me. By way of example, an ex texted her recently, and she disclosed that to me with no prompting and gave me frequent updates and offered access to her phone, which I declined. Although I expressed skepticism because no grown man wants to be your friend, she remained friendly with the ex, and communicated with me when he crossed the line.
Moral of the story, we are still together, I have not found anything actionable, and I will try my best to trust with a healthy bit of skepticism.
27 comments
If the ex crosses the line, he should be gone.
You understand that crossing lines is how some men get into a woman head even if she is “offended ” at first.
Edit: changed he to the ex
Not buying it but only you can make that choice.
Can’t wait for update 2
I wouldn’t be shocked if she’s telling the truth and if she did it just to see if she could be persuaded.
Ya, get ahead of the game and start getting affairs in order. than work on the exit plan. the threesome thing was because she felt hurt by this suggestion to begin with
UpdateMe!
This isn’t an update
I mean at this point, you still feel like she lied about her reasons and should express that too her. I wouldn’t just keep going on distrusting her, you’ll just give room to let resentment grow.
Downloaded tinder to try and set up a threesome. So when’s the threesome happening, I figure no mention of it since huh?? Yeah exactly doesn’t make much sense of an explanation or update. Seems like something made up to cover up shady behavior.
OHHHh, she’s good. But then again I’m extremely cynical so what do I know.
This is likely on life support.
She’s lying don’t waste anymore time on her
Updateme!
Her actions don’t make sense. If she was doing because you expressed interest in a threesome, then why hide it from you?
Wait, so you just casually dropped on her that you would fuck another woman with her present, something she has not expressed an interest in, and you’re wondering why she’s looking around for someone else?
Di you find her on tinder or any of the other ones?
I love the smell of gaslighting in the morning.
Remember when you find out otherwise to let everyone know.
Good luck, and FYI…start wearing condoms.
This seems legit. I think people on here are jaded.
I am not sure why I’m not. I should be with what I’ve been through.
So maybe ignore me.
You both aren’t suited for one another. ESH.
So call her bluff, how far into a threesome is she willing to go?
Updateme!
Why didnt you look into the account with her to veri-/falsify your thoughts?
I think you’ve made the wise decision. If she isn’t setting off your spidey senses in other ways then choose to trust her.
Was her profile set to be looking for women? Surely she’d have shown you it immediately if that was true.
If is it a MMF threesome you told her you wanted?
Either way she could have shown you her matches and any conversations she had with people on there. Because they should all be concerning a threesome.
I’d also expect that he photos would contain at least one of both of you as a couple.
I’d watch where you step. Because I getting a whiff of bullshit.
> she downloaded tinder because I had expressed offhandedly a few months before that my fantasy would be to have a threesome.
Every time I think I’ve seen it all, Reddit surprises me. Another one for the cheater’s bingo card.
She’s full of shit.
Why not ask to see her tinder??? She clearly has one and either it’s to cheat or to find a third person. Should be extremely obvious based on matches and convos which is happening. If it’s a 3some, she should 100% be willing to show you and let you in on the selection process. If she isn’t, well you will know why.