So I (20m) talked to this girl (20F) at a work event and after the event, I got her number through her email address’s “additional info” section (we’ve emailed before). I didn’t get a chance to ask her in person because I wanted to talk to her some more and at the end of the conversation she had to go in a rush to class. Anyways, I texted her and she was nice over text but we didn’t text. This made me second guessing the way I got her number even though it was on her email. Some people said it was creepy but I should leave her alone which I don’t disagree with. I know it would be better to get her number from her. Some said I should apologize. I just don’t see her in person much (which is also why I went the email route), and like I said, she was nice through text so I’m not sure how she felt. Part of me wants to apologize for not asking her in person but what if that makes things weird when it isn’t yet? What should I do?
6 comments
While her phone number might be public knowledge for anyone who knows where to look, you didn’t ask if she minds you having it. I would apologize for assuming you had permission, which is probably going to completely defuse any feeling of anger.
I remember the original post you made. Don’t apologize. Don’t draw more attention to how you got her number. At this point, you already did what you did. Drawing more attention to it will just make her think about how it’s weird even if she didn’t think that originally. Just forget about how you got her number, and ask her out. If she likes you, she’ll say yeah, if she’s uncomfortable with you, she’ll say no. Then you’ll have your answer.
If someone texted me randomly and said “hey I got your number from your email, this is ______, we talked briefly” I’d be weirded out, but if we had good rapport, I’d easily forget. If they suddenly texted me “hey, I’m sorry I didn’t ask you for your number in person” that would remind me that you did something weird.
Don’t apologize. Simply delete their number and seriously leave them alone online or offline.
Why did you go out of your way to look for somebody’s contact information when they never gave their contact information to you ? It doesn’t matter how publicly available their contact information is. You should always ask people in person to give you their number and have a good work-related reason as to why you need their number . If you don’t, they will think that you are hitting on them, and you run the risk of having harrassment allegations against you.
Why are you posting this so many times lol you’ve posted this 6x between today and a day or so ago. What other answers could you possibly need at this point.
It seems like everyone missed the part where you have already communicated through email before? It seems like they think you looked through files at work to find her email and then find her number through that. If she gave you her email, and has her number attached to it where everyone she emails can see it, why is that weird? People search their asses off for people’s instagrams and DM them, how is this different? In the instagram scenario the person theyre looking for never gave them any kind of contact information at all, so wouldn’t that be more creepy?
If I were you I would just continue on as normal. Maybe don’t text her anymore if she doesn’t text, but other than that you should just not worry about it at all. If she has a problem with it she could say something. Women are able to speak up for themselves, even though everyone acts like they aren’t. If I’m not okay with something I speak up for myself every time.
I’m probably going to get downvoted for this but that’s okay. I think Reddit just has “women are fragile and weak. We need to protect them and walk on eggshells around them” mindset for the most part and that’s why you’ve gotten these responses. Or they completely missed the part where she gave you her email, idk.
If you’ve emailed her before, why not ask her for her number that way?