Is it worth me doing this?

I’ve never had much luck with therapists, in terms of them actually improving my mental health. But I’m kind of in a sticky situation right now, where I’m basically unable to socialize with anyone irl (everyone hates me). Meaning I’m not learning any social skills, nor even getting the daily required amount of socialization to not go insane

The only kind of people irl I could imagine tolerating me for more than five minutes are therapists. Mainly because it’s their job to deal will mentally unwell people. I have a pretty obnoxious personality, which has alienated me from pretty much everyone I’ve ever interacted with outside of my parents and maybe a few sympathetic teachers

This isn’t a therapist’s usual job, so I’m not sure if doing this will be worth it for me or if it’ll even be legal. I just can’t think of what else to doz right now

Any thoughts on how I could handle this?

17 comments

  1. i think it would help you, but if you do i would address it with that therapist. even the fact that youre considering doing this is something worth exploring in therapy. if it helps you with your social skills, it may also help you address the underlying problems in your life as to why you feel alienated and feel the need to do this.

  2. Yea, do it. This is one of those things where it cant be negative either way. Its going to help more than church.

  3. I got therapy to help me with social skills and it was worth it. It’s not meant to be a friend but someone to help you figure out how to form friendships.

  4. It worked for me to trust ppl more and be more comfortable talking with ppl more. Even though my primary goal was to get rid of my depression and other childhood trauma didnt quite work out.

  5. It depends. It *really* *really* depends.

    As someone who has also had mixed experiences with therapists, it’s important to realise that they too are people. A therapist is not some miracle cure, they are a professional with skills and flaws. And not all personalities resonate with each other.

    On the other hand, I think it is far more common for people to befriend therapists as non-professional friends. I know a guy who had a great relationship with their therapist who loved telling stories from a hippie commune they lived in the 1970s. Just make sure that you let your therapist also understand how much you care about them as a person.

    So long as it doesn’t devolve into “pay to me to talk”, it can be a positive change to your lives.

  6. A good therapist will help you to develop the social skills necessary to make friends irl. They will also help you with other factors that might indirectly contribute to your lack of social interaction.

  9. I wonder what you view as a therapists usual job. I think of cognitive behavioral therapy as helping people deal with difficult thoughts and behaviors. You describe your personality as obnoxious, and you say it pushes people away. I think that is a pattern of difficult thoughts and behaviors that you’ve recognized within yourself that a therapist could help you to work on so you could have more meaningful relationships in your life (or feel more better about the ones you do have).

    You should try cognitive behavioral therapy again.

  10. I say yes, and tell them exactly this so they understand for reason and can help you in this area.

  11. It’s not a bad idea per se, but might be impractical considering their rates.. my insurance allows 10 sessions with a clinical psychologist + 2 sessions with a counsellor, & I still need to pay a gap fee.. therapists are expensive.. but I don’t have an alternate solution, life coaches are also quite expensive 🙁

  12. The therapist wouldn’t agree to this, they wasn’t you to practice your social skills in public/ with new people. It’s called exposure therapy. They wouldn’t waste a spot with them just to talk to someone.

  13. No. We need to demand more out of our therapists. Having a passive set of ears isn’t worth money – having actionable solutions is. Granted, this is about as far as most therapists’ skillets go, and generally all society asks out of them, but as a value-for-money proposition, no, don’t ever put money in someone’s hand just for listening to you.

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