I’m a bisexual woman and have historically preferred femmes/women. I’ve got a vagina and I’ve sexually been with one partner with one. I can’t get over the “eww” of them. I distinctly remember the first time I fingered my ex-partner’s vagina I though “this feels like sticking my hand inside a (raw) chicken”. It’s not a totally accurate description, but the feeling of the pubic bone, the weird flesh, it just weirded me out, not sexy at all.
I feel similarly about my own vagina. I had vaginismus (or something similar) that made penetration incredibly painful until I got some sort of cream that resolved it around age 19. So I never had any interest in self-penetration for a long time, and even now I still find it off-putting. I use a menstrual cup, so my fingers do go up there but it’s not something I do when I don’t have to. I don’t know where my own g spot is. I do have and enjoy PIV or a partner touching me inside.
I also don’t find the vulva/vagina visually attractive. They’re fine, but I’d much rather look at breasts/chests, shoulders/necks, faces, thighs, butts, penises, etc when going for visual stimulation.
All my partners except my first have been trans women or nonbinary folks who have penises (this has not been on purpose and I wouldn’t hold myself to that trend if I were to find a new partner, it just happens to be how things went). It fits with my favoring of femininity while also not challenging my discomfort around vaginas. I would like to understand why I’m like this, or at least know I’m not alone. I don’t feel great about my response or reaction to a body part that I myself have.
1 comment
No, you are not alone. I’m straight, and I do not penetrate with my fingers either during masturbation. I thought I was bi when I was younger, but vaginas were not appealing to me at all. But I enjoyed their lips/kisses, their breasts, and their asses.
Bottom line, do what feels good for you, and don’t think you have to place a label on it.