My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to a year.
Right now we are going through a really rough patch, we had an argument bc of his ex trying to get back into his life and then right after I found out he was lying to me and was smoking again when we had worked so hard for him to quit. I know it is hard to fight addiction I’ve had experience it’s not that I was mad that he relapsed I was mad that he lied to me and never told me he was going through things. This is about the 4th time this has happened and each time he says he won’t lie to me again that he’ll open up. Since then I’ve told him to check in let me know how he’s doing and I always ask how his day is. But this time he lied it hurt differently, I have doubts about all of his honesty completely because he told me so many times before he would open up and change yet he’s lying about what he’s doing. I don’t know how to help him things aren’t the same since that argument and I just want him to be happy again he doesn’t believe in therapy or depression what do I do?
4 comments
>he was lying to me and was smoking again when we had worked so hard for him to quit.
Cigs?
The one thing I learned from having to savior complex is that you can’t help people that don’t want to be helped. You’re only going to drain yourself doing that. The best you can do is just be there for him and offer him support, but don’t force him.
Don’t help anyone. It blows up in your face 9 times out of 10. Take it from an idiot that can’t help but try it even when I know what’s gonna happen lol.
If he doesn’t see a problem, there isn’t much you can do – therapy or no therapy. He’s shown you that he’s more comfortable lying to you than changing; don’t expect it to change. You’re only choice is to either accept that this is the way life is with him and continue, or to leave.