Ive been using that phrase for a while and wonder if theres another answer i could give. Because i asked to move to the library and a person i talked to gave me a weird face in a jokingly way, I said “why are u giving me that face?” With a nervous tone I remembered. That phrase sounded mean in a way, and my goal is to be a more outgoing guy so is starting with “why are you” a bad phrase to use for normal interactions and what other answer could i give that is more playful and less aggressive?
2 comments
If you can avoid the term “you” all together, your conversations will be much more tactful. There are time when the term is unavoidable, but generally starting anything with “why are you…” comes across as judgmental, and critical.
Maybe try starting with “How is it that some people…”
That way it’s not aimed at anyone directly, and hopefully the person you’re addressing will get the hint..
Usually I’ll say something like “wait what’s up?” And if they’re confused, I’ll say “you made a weird face, you don’t wanna come to the library?”. It’s a less… confrontational(?) way of doing the same thing.
Instead of saying “why are you” it’s better to just ask what they’re thinking. I know what you mean though, saying “why are you _____” can be almost confrontational if you don’t have that kind of a relationship with someone.