So I (25f) met this guy (24) on tinder a month ago. We’re texting almost daily and go on dates like once a week. He’s really sweet and we get along really well. However except for us flirting and hugging hello/goodbye, nothing else is happening. Sometimes it feels like we’re just good friends.
On our 3rd date we went to a bar and were just talking for a couple of hours. Since he wasn’t keen on going home just yet, but was unsure of what we should do next, I invited him over to my place. For the next 5-6 hours we were just chilling in my bed, smoking weed and watching netflix. But nothing else happened 🙁
I was confident that we’d at least cuddle but judging from his body language I thought he was uncomfortable with the situation. From the beginning he was even reluctant to sit on my bed and once on my bed his body wasn’t turned towards me at all. I tried shifting closer towards him to close the gap between us but he didn’t move closer as well and I didn’t just wanna lay on top of him lol
At one point we’re both too high to keep up with the plot of the tv show, so we just listened to some music. We smoked too much and I was pretty much out of it, trying not to fall asleep/ zone out as he was opening himself up to me. It was almost morning so he decided to go home.
I thought the date was a disaster and we’ll never see each other again. The next day he texts me, saying that it was fun and we should hang out again. I am utterly confused are we dating/friends/is he using me for emotional intimacy?
We’re meeting up again this weekend and I was wondering if I should feel out the vibe and straight up ask him if he just wants to be friends or if i should just make a move on him and hold his hand or smth?
11 comments
If you want a move to be made then you do it. If neither if you make a move then maybe getting these thoughts out verbally would put him at ease and easier for him to do his thang
I think there is a couple of things you can do. You could ofcourse just ask him what he wants/is looking for, which would clear everything up. You can also tell him what you want/are looking for. The third option would be to ask him if it is hanging out or a date, which kind of comes down to asking him what he wants.
I would have a frank discussion instead of trying to be coy or smooth. Lord knows what this man’s hangup is, but the list is long and bad:
1. he’s gay and wants a beard. . . in 2022.
2. he’s asexual and doesn’t understand himself
3. he’s impotent
4. consent issues, he’s dumb about how that works
5. he’s trying to cheat on a significant other but is too guilty to go through with it
6. intensely religious upbringing, much work to do
7. man is ashamed of his micropenis, needs more trust before revealing Mr Tiny
I could go on and make a longer list, but the upshot is that you could make a move and get rejected for inexplicable reasons.
Ask him.
Hey. Sounds like he might want to take things slow. So just have a conversation with them and ask them what theyre looking for in a relationship. Maybe the smoking + bed kinda spooked him. Maybe hes hung up on something. Talking will help you out.
You know it’s not actually a law that somebody HAS to fuck you if you stick it out for three dates, right?
Guys don’t always just think about sex.
Guy respects you and doesn’t want to do anything that might hurt you. Maybe he is just too shy. Why don’t you make the first move?
As a shy guys I’d like to say that not all of us have “game” so he might not know how to move on to more intimate stuff.
Lol, what are these guys doing? He lacks confidence or has some issues. If you want to take it further you should make him feel comfortable and encourage him (i.e., you think he’s sexy, you have been thinking about playing with his cock).
Make a move duh
People tell you to make a move. But honestly I think the dynamic of a relationship is better if the guy makes the first move.
Maybe look into his eyes and say “Make a move now or this is over”
People tell you to make a move. But honestly, I think a relationship is better set up to succeed if the guy makes the first move.
Probably he’s just not brave enough to make a move or maybe doesn’t like girls that much.
Good luck!