Whenever my man has a situation at work his whole mood gets badly affected for days/weeks.

Is this normal?

17 comments

  2. It is going to vary and at least for me the past year or two I’ve been working on making a better divide between the two. My work/what I do is a part of me as I am passionate about it. However, a bad work environment really got me to reassess things as a whole.

    Have the two of you sat down and talked about it?

  3. People who make their job their life is a red flag. My job is only there to support my life outside of my job.

  5. Listen, when it’s a stressful job, it’s going to affect his mood regardless of how small it is. I worked in an extremely toxic work environment that constantly stressed me out to even on my way to work. On top of an extremely stressful work environment, I also did freelance which just stressed me out more because they wanted quick turnaround times. It did affect my relationship quite a bit. Something you need to do is support him through this stressful time. Honestly that’s what got me through all the hard times. Knowing I could come home to my fiancee and be in a safe place to vent and just talk was the best part of my day. And if it’s super stressful and he hates it, help him apply for new jobs. Nothing was more surprising to me than when my fiancee hi-jacked my log in for indeed over my lunch and by the time I got back to the office, she had applied for like 30 jobs.

    TLDR: Yes it is normal, but being supportive through the rough times can make a world of difference.

  6. For some not all. Basically he can only vent to you because if he does at work he’ll get judged or replaced. Also if he hates his job. He should be old enough to know work problems stay at work and home life is a different thing.

  7. Probably, because people treat men differently depending on their employment status. Even romantic partners and family.

  9. Men get taught that their value is in what they produce; in what they do for work; in whether they work.

    Stressful situations at work mean “you’re a bad man. You’re not worth being loved. You’re a disappointment.”

    Further, men aren’t taught the skills to effectively manage their emotions. They’re also not allowed to build wide social networks; so, in essence, not only are you his main support network, but also, he doesn’t know how to effectively engage with that support, and on top of all that, there’s an enormous amount of shame hardwired in.

    Essentially, it boils down to self-worth. Bad work situations means low self worth

    Disclaimer: this is hugely broad strokes AND written in a rush. Apologies

  10. Women and men are like that you cant make à generalization.

    Its rare if it ever happen. But i can fuck up and theres no repercussion on people around me or me. Nobody might lose his job and im not gonna lose mine. Beside im good at my job, and its a job that doesnt involve luck. I suspect being a CFO is the opposite.

    But its a lack of communication from his part nonetheless. And from my experience of work some sort of immaturity. Heres my take.

  11. He is in an extremely stressful position. A CFO of a brokerage, in the current economy? For most people, a stressful job means a bad colleague or boss, or pay. A high level executive like a CFO can be under a tremendous amount of stress. People can’t just sit there with their low level jobs acting like it’s easy to just separate your work from your job.

    I don’t understand how you are asking if this is normal. You are old enough to understand this.

  12. Because you spend a majority of your time either sleeping or at work.

    That leaves very little time to decompress from dealing with bullshit at work.

    Compound that with a SO that expects you to give her your undivided attention when you’re not at work or sleeping, assuming she even gives you that much slack, and you just have more no way to decompress.

    And that affects more than just your love life. It affects your entire life and your health, both mental and physical.

  13. His job obviously sucks and it’s bleeding into other areas of his life. He needs a job he doesn’t hate.

    In most of my previous jobs a ‘bad day’ meant people died and a good day meant that I nearly died in a really cool way, but it didn’t affect my love life because I was happy, overall. He is not happy.

    My work mostly affects my love life now because I flirt constantly with my female work friends and I think some of them are taking it seriously.

  14. It’s all life. If something genuinely bothers him it’s not going to magically lift away because his physical location changes.

  15. Because the government takes 40-50% of my salary so that I have to work more before I can enjoy some free time and be out there to look for someone nice

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