I (F22) have had a chaotic history. Textbook narcissist backstory. Family abandoned me, didn’t know whom I could trust, emotionally/sexually/mentally/verbally abused growing up, was under stranger care for a lot of time and all those things dark and gloomy.
But I really do know and strongly believe deep down inside that that has not changed my nature. I might be incredibly bitter on the outside but I care very, very deeply about everyone around me and I’m always wishing for everyone’s well-being even if they’ve caused me pain in the past. I know when I’ve caused pain to someone and I do everything I can to make amends and I beat myself up and introspect a lot about it.
You’re probably thinking “that’s not very narcissist-like”, but it has been coming up a lot lately. After the honeymoon phase is over with any new person I’m seeing and I start to get in the nit-picky phase, I get very psychoanalytical. The guy (M24) I’m with right now is incredibly apologetic about everything and always sounds like he’s afraid of losing me. Bad as that sounds, it is a major step-up from a lot of my exes. When I snapped at him today I told him that he has debilitating anxiety and a saviour complex. I had no intention of being manipulative and I don’t want him to serve me or anything like that but things still seem to be steering that way.
How do I stop this? Or myself? Am I emotionally abusive? Or a narcissist?
TL;DR: am I emotionally abusive or narcissistic for telling my boyfriend that he might have anxiety, just because he constantly sounds afraid to lose me and apologetic about everything?
1 comment
Therapy. You might think about trying to not be dating if you can’t be kind to your partners. You could to talk to a trained professional who can help you navigate through all this.