Both 23F. Dating for 1.5years.
About two months ago I relapsed (drinking) for the first time in like 6 months. I texted her some nonsense (just stuff like omg I love u so much) and she found out. She got really mad that I drank, but things were going better so I thought. This was in late October. Then come last Thursday she was acting weird and she ended up saying I complain too much and it’s weighing down on her. She said every day I have a complaint like I’m stressed or anxious or my blood sugar is off (diabetes). I said I’d do better, but come Saturday we had a movie night planned. We got 40 mins into a movie before I asked why she was still acting weird, and if there was anything I could do to help.
She initiated a breakup. She said she loves me so much and wants things to work out with me but thinks we need time to grow, apart. She said maybe in a year we can try again. After that I said I’m not waiting for you for a year. As much as I’d want to to be with her, it’d kill me inside. After that she started crying and I said you’re sure you want to do this? And she said maybe we don’t need to break up, let’s just take a one month break and see if we still want to break up. I said but I don’t want to break up. She still insisted on a month break where we aren’t technically broken up, and can still text each other. I ended up agreeing.
But I feel like it was kind of selfish to take this break. Or something. It’s like she’s testing the waters of being broken up without risking me talking to someone else in the meantime (there’s no one specific I’d talk to). I feel like she’s making me hang onto hope when she might just end up dumping me after the month. I’ll be so upset if she still breaks up with me because I could’ve used this time to try to move on.
But I also don’t want to lose her. She’s such a good friend, even before dating. I want us to work. But I don’t know what to do.
Do I stick out this break while I feel like shit and hang onto hopes that she might want me back? Or do I break up with her myself and tell her this isn’t fair to me, and if she ends up wanting me back to come talk to me.
I am just so scared I might regret not doing this break. But it’s making me feel so terrible being stuck in this anxious limbo.
Do breaks ever work?
3 comments
Temporary breaks do work – they usually make the break permanent.
This is a tough one this one fuck me, shit perfectly honest if I was you just trynna piture myself in your shoes and as a dude I would honestly take that month break and let her see for herself if you are worth it. Don’t be texting her all time 1 every so days touch base see how she is and dont always be the one making the first one to text let her reach out after awhile. That’s honestly what I would do if I new she was worth it and you obviously love her BUT don’t be disappointed if that month is up and she doesn’t want the relationship because dude it’s her loss you did what was asked you showed you ain’t going anywhere and girls would kill for that cause in a way I kind of can see what she’s doing how she would be feeling I personally wouldn’t go on a month break bit over the top but she obviously doesn’t like you drinking and feels what’s more important in a way trynna I wouldn’t say punish but make you realise you do it again this month will turn into goodbye that’s my guess if I was her. For her to cry she ain’t playing and for the hole complaining about your suger levels stuff easy fix for you to do. Just say drinking was a mistake I fucked up ok haven’t touched it for 6months I don’t rely on it nor have the need for it I simply fucked up and I apologise and since she brought up what bothers her say I’m glad you told me so I new I won’t complain about that thanks for communicating amd letting me know. Just remember don’t be disappointed just do lil things show what you did was biggest mistake and she’s more important then alcohol. Good luck dude 👍🏻
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