I have this girl in my friend group that I had a crush on a couple of months ago. Long story short, we flirted in person a lot and kept DMing a lot over social media. It all led up to me asking her out over text. Now I didn’t use the word “date”, but I pretty much asked her if she’d like to go grab dinner at this event that was happening nearby. She ended up saying she couldn’t go because she already had tickets to an event at that same time with some other friends (She really did). Because she didn’t offer another time that would work for her or suggest another activity, I thought she was politely turning me down, so I tried to move on. I slowly stopped texting her as much and I flirted a lot less in person as well.
Now the weird thing is, she’s done the exact opposite. I’m getting multiple messages from her and she’s been much more flirty with me in person. I’ve always had the mentality that after someone “rejects” you once, you don’t keep trying and instead you just move on with your life. After all, there’s so many other people out there, there’s gotta be someone whose interested in me as much as I am interested in them. But I’ve heard a lot of stories from older couples that the guy asked out the girl 5 or 10 times before she said yes. And these couples seem to be pretty happy with each other in their old age. It’s possible I’m leaving an opportunity for a great relationship like theirs by only giving it once chance. My question is, am I being too prideful by not even trying one more time? Or do I ask out this girl again but in person, while clearly stating it’s gonna be a date?
5 comments
Bruh she didn’t reject you. She had plans already. On top of it, if your going to ask her out on a date, let it be known its a date.
A lot of women expect you to figure out the time and place. You boofed the first one, so come up with a second. If you’re that ready to back off, do you think she has a very good impression about your interest in her?
(don’t be relentless about it though… harassment is the extreme end of determination)
So what I’d recommend is, don’t put a time on it. Just ask, “would you like to go out to dinner sometime?”. Then if she says yes, ask if this Friday works.
If you put a time, you can confuse availability with interest. Get her to confirm interest first, and then worry about availability if it’s a yes.
One day you’re going meet a girl that will make you want to ask out 5 to 10 times, or whatever it takes. Doesn’t sound like you like this one. They can tell man.
I’ve played the game of asking for a date without formally stating that it’s a date.
IT DOES
NOT
WORK
Next time, ask her properly on a date