I need help and guidance

Hi, I’m currently going through a problem and I’m having trouble finding a permanent solution. Im 16 female and I’m diagnosed with depression, ADHD, and social anxiety. I never really go to crowded places with out my friends since they’re good at keeping me calm. But in the past year I’ve done some bad things and I don’t even think I deserve the friends I have. About 8-9 months ago I started to say inappropriate jokes without thinking and even threatened to do something weird to one of them just to pressure them to do something. After that we all sat down and talked about ways to change that behavior but recently it happened again and now my one friend won’t talk to me. Im so disappointed and disgusted in myself that I let it happen again but I just don’t know what to do and I needed to let it out somewhere. I don’t even know if I can fix this problem and I’m starting to drift from my only friends because of it and I feel so bad. I don’t want to loose them but I don’t know what to do anymore and my depression is becoming worse because of it. Any advice would be amazing. I don’t want to loose my only friends because I don’t know how to think before I speak.