I work at a branch of a large US bank. I’ve been employed at this location for 6 months and feel worse off compared to when I started. For reference I have ~15 coworkers, but work closely with 7 other tellers on a daily basis.
About three months ago all the other tellers invited me out for drinks with them. I agreed with the intentions this would hopefully help bond with them. The day of the event I started feeling flu-like symptoms with a low grade fever. I texted the group explaining I was not feeling well. They seemed to understand.
However, two days later I returned to work to find a different atmosphere. Anytime I initiated conversation, they no longer seemed interested in carrying it out compared to before. I went home thinking “oh maybe it’s just not a good day”, but it has continued for more than a month now. I know it is only a job, but to feel shunned daily is mentally draining. Especially because they seem like nice people. We don’t have much in common, and being the youngest doesn’t help.
Tonight our branch had a holiday dinner. When I arrived, there was an open seat with the other tellers. When I sat down, they said “oh that’s ——‘s seat, she isn’t here yet. So instead of sitting with the other tellers, I had to sit at another table with another department. It was humiliating and crushing. I don’t know what I am doing wrong or how to fix the situation. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
2 comments
It sounds like you’re feeling isolated and excluded from your coworkers, which can be a very difficult and lonely experience. It’s understandable that you would be feeling frustrated and unsure of how to handle the situation.
One thing you can try is to talk to your coworkers directly and let them know how you’re feeling. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s important to communicate your feelings and let them know that you value their friendship and would like to be more involved. You could say something like, “I’ve been feeling a bit left out lately and I wanted to let you know that I value your friendship. I’m sorry if I did anything to offend you or make you feel uncomfortable. Can we talk about it and see if there’s anything I can do to improve our relationship?”
Another thing you can try is to make an effort to spend more time with your coworkers outside of work. This could involve inviting them to do activities together, such as going to lunch or attending a social event. By spending more time together, you can get to know each other better and build stronger connections.
It’s also important to remember that you don’t need to have everything in common with your coworkers in order to get along with them. Everyone is different, and it’s natural for people to have different interests and backgrounds. Try to focus on the things you do have in common and find ways to connect with each other based on those shared interests.
Overall, the key is to be proactive and take steps to improve your relationships with your coworkers. It may not be easy, but it’s worth it to try to build stronger connections and feel more included.
I’m sorry. Keep doing your job well. Continue to be kind. You’ve done nothing wrong. Some one in the group has a false impression of you and has influenced the others. If there is some one in the group who seems kinder or at least not as off putting invite them out to lunch. See what happens. If they do agree to go out with you know that the conversation will probably be shared with the others.