He is seeming over-excited while I’m just chill and getting to know him. He has made plans already for our career together, future family life, travels, how we will spend the holidays, etc. He even “invited” me on a spontaneous trip to another state tomorrow. He is going to visit family.

Internally, I’m like what? This is weird. Please correct me if I’m wrong but what do you all think? We’ve only been on 2 dinner dates.

36 comments

  1. The one time I used tinder, I met a girl like this.. had to get out asap because wtf. A year later she gave birth to a son with some other dude… some people move waaayyy to fast for my liking. What happened to the 3 month probationary period

  2. Love bombing probably. Last guy that did that to me disappeared for a week and then popped up on fb as in a relationship. After saying he was going to marry me 😂

  3. I’ve had soo many guys do this on the apps. It’s all before I’ve even met them. Let me tell you, it has never once worked out. If you like him and it’s going well I would just be cautious and try to take it at your own pace as much as you can.

  6. After two dates yea that’s way too much imo. I understand being excited about someone new and that some people move at different speeds. But that would turn me off, if I was still just getting to know the person

  7. I had a girl planning our retirement before we even met.

    People just get carried away I guess? Obviously you can’t take it too seriously, but it’s definitely an indication of their interest. If you are weirded out by their enthusiasm (and I was!), it’s also an indication of your interest.

  9. This sounds like love bombing to me. I’d just be honest that it’s too much too early for you, and ask him to tone it down, or simply end things now if you’re getting the feeling something is off. The fallout from love bombing can be so confusing and painful. Best to avoid, imho.

  10. I reluctantly went on a date with a guy last year – things just seemed off. I had worked with him but not closely. When our work relationship ended, we started texting often. It felt like all of our conversations were superficial and I didn’t really know him and he didn’t know much about me. He wanted to travel with me all over the world, always commented how beautiful I was, bought me and my kids (he never met them) gifts. At the end of our first date, his wife called him 😳 He apparently was looking for a mistress and it was not going to be me.

  11. That is a LOT on a first date…. That makes all my red flags pop up, it reeks of desperation and lack of self control to me

  13. I’ve been out with a couple guys like this and it was way too much too soon. On a second date one of them was trying to disagree with me about my own personality. Like bro, you don’t know me. I’m trying to tell you who I am – you either don’t care to listen or are trying to box me into some made up image you’ve constructed of me and neither of those is good. The other was more classic love bombing and it put me off right away.

  14. 2 dinner dates and he’s already talking like that? Just run and don’t look back.

    At best, he’s super eager, lacks impulse control, and has an idealized version of you built up in his mind.

    At worst, he’s love bombing you and trying to manipulate you into thinking he’s “the one” so he can get laid.

    Maybe he’s somewhere in the middle, I don’t really know, but this isn’t a healthy behavior to have with someone. It takes time to build a relationship and he’s wanting to skip right ahead to the engagement stage. People like this are so quick to accelerate things and then drop people when they realize they’re not who they had built up in their minds, or they become abusive and try to force the other person to change into who they want/wanted them to be.

    But as I said in the beginning, just run from this guy.

  15. Tell him to Jack off. You will be shocked at how his attitude changes, he may even reconsider going out with you at all.

  17. >He has made plans already for our career together, future family life, travels, how we will spend the holidays, etc.

    Eager Beaver he is!

  20. My ex did this. I felt like an accessory in their goals and not a person they’re into. Relationship(s) turned sour when they realised I wasn’t the person they wanted.

  21. People like this often have it so planned out, the moment you don’t fit their vision you shatter their illusion & you’re out.

  22. Run. This is desperation mixed with Michael Scott level social skills at best. It’s stalker behavior at worst.

  23. Damn guys like this are getting dates but I say something slightly awkward and get the 👻

  24. Red flag. I’m saying this as a man that was formerly like this. This is a man that has some work to do for himself. Spare yourself the headache.

  25. This is definitely love bombing. Unfortunately, from personal experience, he’s a narcissist.

    I’d keep your options open!

  27. Yes. I have also been love-bombed like this. He had a timeline and everything. Told me that I was perfect and made for him. Run. Just run.

  30. He must be super good looking or something else for this to even remotely be a dilemma for you. This behavior does not come from an emotionally healthy, stable place.

  31. That is creepy, and I would be incredibly turned off by it. How would I ever know that this person is *actually* interested in me if he’s planning our future without knowing me at all? Scary behavior.

  32. If a man tried this with me, the joke would be on him, because nothing is less attractive to me than clearly articulated enthusiastic romantic interest.

  34. > He is seeming over-excited while I’m just chill and getting to know him. He has made plans already for our career together, future family life, travels, how we will spend the holidays, etc.

    What’s up with people doing this? I want to say that the second or third day I was talking to the last person, they hit me with 20 questions about my life and everything in it, with the very clear expectation that I plan for her to move in with me eventually. I should’ve come back with any of the following:

    “I’ve been talking to you for three days.”

    “I’ve never met you in person.”

    “You refuse to even tell me your name.”

    I don’t think I ever really got over how much she rushed that. It put me on edge in ways that I’m glad at least I *know* now were bad.

    What you’re describing is garden variety love bombing, it’s a possible sign of some very bad things. My thinking is it could be a subtle variant of it was employed on me; I’ll never know. But I’ve definitely had the “I feel like taking you to the courthouse now” crap from women who have no business saying it and invariably they start displaying hardcore toxic emotional issues down the line. It’s like writing bad checks. There is always a period of time before that check clears, where you think you just got written a check for a million dollars. But of course this person can’t possibly have written you a good check, because they live in a dumpster. That’s the mentality we need to have when it comes to people who “plan your future” within a month of knowing you.

  36. I am going to take a line from Dave Chappelle’s recent SNL rant on Kanye: “It’s not crazy thing to think about your possible future together on a first date, its just crazy to say it, out loud.”

    I would assume he has very little dating and relationship experience and does not know what is “normal.”

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