Ended a 6 year relationship. Need help.

Hi!

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, 6 years. 23F and 24M. We got together in college and until now that we are working. We have a good relationship. Okay sa family both sides. We never hurt each other physically. We recently acquired properties for our future and we were both pretty sure we were gonna get married sooner or later.

But then he has this attitude called “stonewalling” and silent treatment whenever we argue. One time he left me in the parking lot in the car out of frustration since we got into a fight and when he got back we still did not talk. Then lately we always end our dates with arguments and silent treatments. Until recently we argued sa chat about a very small thing but we both ended up not talking to each other for a week. I did not reach out to apologize kasi im sure it was not my fault and I was not the one who said hurtful things.

So during that week, I was already contemplating and thinking about our relationship and it got to a point that I realized I did not deserve this. Just a quick bg, he really is a nice guy and I love him to bits but his maturity level is progressing really slowly. As you can see, our age is almost the same. Yes, he is improving and progressing but then I think about how long should I wait? Why can’t I deserve someone who already did his own healing and who is mature enough to seriously talk things out? I mean I know it’s really nice to build a relationship from the ground up but then I always think about what if I don’t have to go through this and waste another years of my life and find someone who is mature enough for me now?

Also, another issue is I guess he got so complacent with our relationship that over time he does not appreciate me as much as he did back then and his attitudes starts to show more often that I don’t like, like between us, he is the one who is more moody and he is overprotective. I felt like I was the only one chasing him now and always adjusting to his attitude.

And so I broke up with him but he did not want to and cried pa in front of me and begged me for another chance. I stood my ground and said no. Then lately he does not stop chatting/calling me talaga and I can’t ignore him so I told him the best I could give him is being friends for now. He is now giving me all of his attention, giving me gifts and appreciating me like I’ve wanted for so long. He acknowledged his mistakes like on point. All I said here, he admitted to it. So I am thinking here that he is doing everything I wanted him to do in the first place why not get back together? Then I realized that if I go back, he will be like this for maybe a few months and then go back to his old ways and for me to come back to him, it may be harder to get out and maybe during that time we make more promises/investment/plans and it will be harder to leave.

And so my issue here, I love him of course or maybe this is attachment so I can’t help myself to reply to his messages but I am sure that I do not want to get back to our relationship yet. Do you think our relationship is worth another try? Is it better for us just to be friends for now? Can I actively be on dates while he is lingering in my life? Because he made it clear that he won’t give up on me. Should I tell him that “I wanna explore” and it is his own choice if he would still stay? Or should I just ignore him COMPLETELY like block him etc on we can move on with our lives?

I am so torn. Help.