I (25 female) am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend (28 male) of 4 years and sex is great! I recently started a new job and made friends with some of the coworkers. One of my coworkers and I are cool, however he’s (28 male) been starting to ask me about my sexual preferences. I don’t mind being open like that with someone but it’s starting to cause me to become wary of the guy. We both are in our own committed relationships, but why all of a sudden ask me these questions? Do you guys think he’s trying to hint at something or is he just genuinely being open about talking about sex? It’s interesting to hear about sex from another perspective, but I don’t know about this one. I don’t even talk about sex with the people I’m closest to other than my boyfriend of course. Can this be a true genuine severely OPEN friendship or are they trying to be more than friends?
17 comments
Friend or not I don’t talk about sex to people that much
There can be I have a few friends that I like staying friends, but talk openly about sex.
I mean you’re doing it right now no?
If you’re uncomfortable with it, don’t do it. Some people are just genuine in their conversations, some might have ulterior motives. No way to really tell 100%. I’d recommend speaking with your boyfriend about what he’s comfortable with you discussing as well, as it’s his sex life you’re talking about as well.
Speaking only for myself of course, I enjoy talking about sex and anything else with people. Everyone knows I’m monogamous with my wife so it’s not like I’m looking. It’s just interesting.
I think it’s fine. If it makes you uncomfortable stop
Shut him down.
That’s not appropriate and it sound like he’s trying to get way to close.
If you haven’t known him a long time he’s being creepy and inappropriate. He almost certainly has an agenda. I wonder what his SO would think.
As someone that’s come across guys like this and even being a guy like this myself when I was younger, there is a large chance the man is looking for more.
If you have a gut feeling and you gotta ask here, then simply just don’t do it. You could find yourself talking more sexually before it starts getting physical.
It is a slow play that works really well with people that see each other often.
It depends on what you’re talking about and why you’re talking about it.
A new coworker suddenly asking about your sexual preferences out of the blue is pretty sus.
I’ve also gotten very close to a coworker and have regular conversations about sex. I question whether or not it is healthy because I am single and he is married. And while we have both shared very personal details, it’s mostly him giving me advice rather than flirting, but the fact that he knows more about my sex life than most other people is a little weird, even though I think I started it by opening up to him about stuff.
You shouldn’t even be here asking this question, you’ve only just met the guy and he’s weighing you up sexually …
If you don’t realise that’s too personal for a new “friend” then I’m sorry but you’re being very naive….
It is not good, keep these info for you and your partner. Coworker is trying to get you.
Thats pretty disrespectful, as a partner id pop that mf in the mouth
Talking about sex is fine, but it’s weird to ask someone about their sex stuff. In a workplace like that there is a question of professionalism and harassment.
In work environments where we got close enough to talk about our sex lives, it was an offer stuff up kind of deal. If he isn’t telling his stuff, or is asking about yours instead of just listening, those could be red flags.
You should also consider how your partner would feel. Don’t share embarrassing details, and be aware if it feels like the guy is trying to creep on you. If it was me, knowing men, I would definitely think a guy was making a move if my wife told me about something like that.
You should definitely talk to boyfriend about this. It’s totally okay to be open about sex but there’s something that sounds off about this. There’s workplace boundaries here, and i think you should trust your gut
He has no part in you and your partner’s sexual life.