I (21F) have started seeing this guy (23M) recently and his dick is just too big. Every time we have sex regardless of how aroused or wet I am, he hits my cervix and it hurts terribly. Some positions are better than others but it’s still difficult. He talks a lot about wanting to be rougher and go in all the way but it just hurts too bad. I don’t think I can suck it up and bear the pain to give him what he wants. I don’t know what to do and it makes me feel bad about myself that I can’t be what he wants. I feel like I’m not good enough
What can I do?
42 comments
I’d say your best bet is to explore positions that aren’t so deep. Side by side facing each other is a good one. Especially if you lift your leg over his thigh so you can have a bit of control of the movement
Unfortunately porn is warping reality. Couple that with almost 3 years of covid and it is a recipe for disaster. No you shouldn’t grin and bear it! Sex should be enjoyed by both not one at the expense of the other. Have you told him it hurts? I am constantly asking my wife what she likes and how she likes it. If you tell him and he still hurts you I would suggest not staying with him. I have two daughters 21 and 26 I would not want this for them!
HE wants to be rougher. You dont. So dont let him. Tbh, by your description, he sounds like a big dick guy who has no idea how to use it. You feel like you are not good enough, it seems like he is the one that isn’t good enough.
You could always look into an Ohnut ring, it will stop him from going in far enough to hurt you.
To be honest, he shouldn’t hurt you. I’m on the bigger side and I know exactly how and when I’ll hit the cervix. I don’t want to cause pain on her because I care.
The most important thing you don’t mention here is how does your partner feel about the fact that sex with him is hurting you?
Tell him to stop going so deep. Him being a bigger guy needs to learn that he cant go in so deep. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable for the both of you. Maybe get him an ohnut. It’ll help to keep him from going to deep until he learns how to control the depth of his penitration. In time you’ll get used to his size. It took a while for my wife to get used to my length and thickness, but I always tried to make sure she was comfortable and made sure I didnt go in to deep. Your bf should be doing the same for you.
His dick is not the problem. Dude is a shitty lover. And a selfish asshole
Like other areas of relationship compatibility, sexual compatibility is a wide ranging thing. Physical size of both partners matters. Your bodies can’t be adjusted.
You need to decide why it’s worthwhile to let him hurt you for his pleasure.
Relationships are difficult. They take work to maintain. Some things are insurmountable. Would you continue to go to a job that caused you physical pain or harm?
He needs to learn to not go deep and respect your wishes. If he keeps going deep against your wishes or pressures you to just take it; you NEED to break up
If he knows and he’s not worried about you being in pain from having sex and doing anything to stop, then he’s not the one.
Also, look into an Ohnut.
Anal?
In time you can get used to it and in time he might be able to pound away, but it’s going to take time and patience on his part, you guys are young he needs to learn to slow down. Porn gives the illusion people can just do that, but those girls have a lot of experiences with size, and those guys have a lot of experience with technique
If he’s hitting your cervix he’s already all the way in as far as your vagina is concerned. He either needs to be mindful of how deep he goes, or maybe you should pursue someone who is a better fit. Like cocks, vaginas come in all shapes and sizes.
He doesn’t need to go all the way in.
Express your concerns with him that he needs to arouse u more before he hits your end. Also rough is only sexy is porn in real it sucks
Downsizing is always an option!
You’re young you don’t need to be in pain when having sex.
I‘m afraid you two don’t fit. You’re doing a great effort to keep up while in pain. Don’t.
Try a Donut, but if he slammes you full force it will hurt nevertheless. I’m sorry
Experiment. But do not do anything that you don’t want to. No matter how much he asks. Being rough “together” is fun but consent and comfort is key. Have a safe word for when it gets too much and if he breaks that you have justification to stop. Someone else said to try different positions. I would support that approach. Sex should be fun and fulfilling. Not something you fear. Take action now before things get too far.
No matter how big or small, men should not be pounding away on you with wild abandon. This is not all about you pleasing him. It’s about you both pleasuring each other. Tell him to stop watching porn and getting crazy ideas about thrusting.
First off you both, but especially him needs to learn the skill set of foreplay with a woman. Find videos online about how to make love to a woman. He needs to, you both do. Need to get each other aroused and prepped for any kind of penitration.
This needs to start, when you initially become sexually active for the first time, As well as the first time with a new partner. Women need to feel an emotional connection with their partner. You need to trust him long before he starts waving and poking that thing around. He’s going to hurt somebody. Yes, this takes time and work. But, you should accept nothing less from anyone you are seeing. That’s for the rest of your life. If it’s not acceptable to your partner, you need to cut him loose forthwith! That’s without delay.
As far as the size of a man’s penis compared to your vagina. Medical Professionals have always said. A woman’s vagina is designed to expand and contract and accomidate for any size variation. I think there has to be a maximum operating diameter and length though. We are not talking about some buy equipped with some freakesly huge anomoly to nature.
But, you have to engage in proper arousal before hand and forplay. I would say you also need to have a small bag with lube, condoms, and such. But, blood needs to flood to your pelvic floor and engorged the entire area befote he even thinks of sticking that thing in you.
I would get some advice from the women here in the room on some of the finer details.
Good Luck with That!
I had this problem with a girlfriend years ago. I was super careful because I would hit her cervix, but when she got turned on she wanted to slam herself onto me, ignoring the pain at the time. But it bruised her (and me) and she would get UTIs almost every time we had intercourse. I would have been happy with blowjobs, handjobs and careful intercourse, but she wanted to be pounded. So we eventually called it off.
Ask your guy if he can be satisfied without vaginal intercourse. If not and he can’t learn not to pound so deeply, then you two will have to go your separate ways. Your vagina is not going to “get used to it.”
Uh don’t have painful sex? It’s ok to move on
I mean, you could always talk to him just an idea
Tell him! communicate this to him! if you want the relationship to work, you have to be honest about important things like this. Even if it doesnt work out in the end, at least you will give him important knowledge so that will help him be a better partner to the next girl.
I have 100% broken up with a guy because his dick was too big. It sucked. He was a really nice dude and he was sooo hot. But we were physically incompatible. We tried. It didn’t work.
If you’ve just started seeing him, I’d suggest first deciding if it’s even worth the trouble. I’d write it off as sexually incompatible and move on given that he wants to go deeper and be rougher knowing it’s already hurting you.
Nothing is worse than a dick that’s too long. I’ll take a 4 inch dick with decent girth over a giant long hog any day.
Get on top. Then you can control the penetration. You can get on top by sucking or jacking him first, then gently insert him and control the action.
Take a trip to the toy store together and look at some of the toys. They should have something that can fit over the shaft to reduce the depth.
Damn, how many inches is he? Maybe he should consider a career in porn.
Next!
I was married to a man like that. Magnum condoms were too small for him. He could only ever go in halfway.
Sexual incompatibility is a thing.
It isn’t the duck that’s the problem, it is the tool with the dick that’s the problem. Read this article, it is more about how you have great sex: https://www.letseatcake.com/big-penis-sex-tips/
I don’t know any methods to stretch your vagina but if it hurts I recommend seeing someone else
Does he know how to fuck slowly or is always jack hammering?
Try anal
Lucky guy😔
Sex shouldn’t hurt. There are positions where you thighs extend the penetration area. Maybe try that. Anyways he should be mindful of your boundaries. You should make that very clear.
You can try penis rings. Some kits contain 2 that your bf can wear at once of 1 isn’t enough. They work as a stopper not letting the penis go too deep
This is the equivalence of a guy feeling like he is not good enough if he doesn’t measure up. Remember this feeling next time you meet a guy that may be insecure of himself.
You guys are not compatible. He seems like a selfish lover regardless.
Ballz deep is the only way.