I’m being brutally honest here, as much as I despise myself for certain things, I also adore myself.
I’m 18 years old. I’m an attractive guy with a nice hairstyle, good dressing sense, and a wonderful physical shape thanks to my workouts.
These are the only things about which I am truly proud, and nothing else.
People, even my parents and sister think of me as an imbecile, absent-minded, and brainless person. (I’m in tears right now as I type this.)
I’m unable to make my own decisions. I, on the other hand, am unable to stand for myself. People will say whatever they want to me. something that is personal coming from them.
It doesn’t mean it won’t affect me; it very certainly will. alot! But once I start chatting to them, their remarks either embarrass me or leave me dumbfounded.
I’ve seen a lot of people my age or younger achieve a lot of things, such as good communication skills, being better at absolutely everything, having a solution for any problem, getting along with anybody they encounter, and so on.
Which I should be doing at the age of 18; I’ll be 19 next month. I believe that you become an adult at the age of 18, and I have no idea what that means.
If I’m given a single, easy duty, I start sweating profusely, my hands begin to shake, and I become anxious for no apparent reason; similar predicament also occurs in the outside world. and when I fail to complete a task, I am said as
“You’re incapable of doing anything! You’re useless.”
I’m continually trying new things to see if they can help me grow as a person. such as being the first to speak, asking questions about themselves, and treating the individual with respect, even if it meant compromising my own needs. Later on, they simply use your nature for their own selfish advantage.
But I somehow fail all the time. People around me give me negative energy, which absolutely drains me on the inside.
So I go back to being the quietest person in the room, to being who I truly am.
As they say, a hopeless and stupid person.
A part of me still believes that I won’t stay like this forever, that I will one day be a successful person who has accomplished everything in life.
And now I’m at a loss for what to write next. Any suggestions on how to improve myself from you guys would be greatly welcomed.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
2 comments
Have you ever bought a blush, glossy, delicious-looking apple and when you took a bite, it was rotten to the core? You can’t see what’s inside. The most elegant townhouse may be filled to the brim with filth and an assortment of hoarded crap. Wisdom comes from within; focus on getting to know yourself by asking questions and seeking out new insights and experiences so you may reflect and grow.
On the other hand, saying “I’m a loser” is a lot easier than acting on not wanting to be a loser. You may replace “a loser” with any undesirable quality. Maybe the people you envy have been working their butts off to get where they are and they still feel like you. My point is, a passive, sulky attitude won’t get you far in life. You get away with it because you’re young, but if you want to be a more well-rounded person, you’ve got to figure out what you could do, concretely and feasibly, to start working on a better self today.
Stopped reading at “I’m in tears while I write this”
Man up bitch