Hi all, just gonna jump into it
When we first got married 7 years ago, my wife and I have always been at a slight disconnect when it comes to sex. She’s fairly low libido while I’m fairly high. We’ve had talks about it and I’ve explained to her that this is a very important matter to me and she took it to heart and made some changes for me. Eventually she even noticed her desires increasing as we’ve introduced new toys, furniture, etc. to our repertoire.
The issue began in the past few months when we started having intercourse with the intention to conceive a child. We’re currently working with our local fertility center as she has PCOS and we need to schedule our sex much more strictly. We end up having sex 3 days in a row and feel absolutely spent by the 4th day. Me being high libido, I usually am ready to jump back into it after a couple days rest but she doesn’t feel the same, to the point where the only times we have any kind of sex (not just intercourse) are these days and the rest of the month is lost.
She does offer to give handjobs and blowjobs but a big thing for me is I am very fond of giving, I love to go down on her or use toys and see her pleasure. She insists that she doesn’t want anything but she would do things for me. But the intimacy feels lost on me when I’m not able to give back, she always just says she doesn’t want anything and I end up feeling lonely and a little lost about it. She promises that she still has sexual feelings but her body just does not cooperate with her during this time. She’s also on tons of pills to help regulate her period and ovulation.
So bottom line, am I just being selfish? Should I just be accepting what she offers right now and ignore my urges to want to reciprocate? Should she be trying harder to understand how I’m feeling and make a better attempt to be more intimate? We do talk about this problem it’s not something I just bottle up because good communication is key, I’m really just looking for some outside perspective.
1 comment
Oh my dude. You (plural, as a couple) are already kind of off balance where libidos and such go and you’re wanting to add an infant to that mix?
I’m not trying to be a downer here but things are likely going to get a lot worse before they get any better. It’s kinda part and parcel with the parenting thing. Not saying “don’t have kids”, but if this is something that is this important to you, know what the possible/likely outcomes may be.
If you want some good news I hear a lot of women see a huge increase in libido during some stages of pregnancy.