I’m going to use the ”just venting” flair, but I’m actually asking a question.
I’m a 25 year old woman. False modesty aside, men (and women) consider me very attractive, a lot of people say that I look like young Natalie Portman… and if I’m honest, that’s true because I can 100% see it too lol.
I really do not have a hard time getting men to talk to me, check me out in public places etc.
what bothers me a lot is that no one seems to give a damn about what kind of person I am. I’m not saying all men are like this, but I’ve met multiple men and yes all the men I’ve met are like this, I’ve been just unlucky I guess.
Do not get me wrong, I do want men to look at me and think i’m attractive, but I also want them to be able to appreciate other qualities. If I’m smart/charismatic/strong/determined/ any other quality you can think
I want you to notice those qualities and appreciate me for the kind of person I am. But it’s actually not just the personality I want them to notice… it’s a bit of everything.
If I’m only 25 and I already own two houses and I drive a brand new Mercedes, I want you to notice that…not because you have to be materialistic, but because what I look like, what kind of person I am, what I own, how much I make, what I’ve accomplished in my life, all these little things are who I am and I want you to be able to appreciate every aspect.
When I see a good-looking man, I can feel that I’m attracted to him, sure, but once I get to know him, I’m able to appreciate his persona/his achievements/everything else. Well, that depends on the woman to be fair, some are more visual than others and just want hot dudes, some go for personality/achievements because that’s what they find attractive, I’m a mix of both. I like a man for his looks and if he has other things going for him, I will find him even more attractive and respectable.
Men do not seem to be able to do this, they only seem to care about my looks… and this is really frustrating. I have other things going for me.
Are men just shallow or have I just been unlucky?
9 comments
Do you think maybe your looks are the most attractive part about you?
My suggestion would be to meet people through online like social websites such as secondlife or imvu or whatever. Yeah it doesn’t always work out but maybe it will give you a chance to show off your personality first before they see your physical features. Also builds up that emotional connection first. Gives you a chance to socialize. That way you know they’ll want you for your mind rather than just your body.
>If I’m only 25 and I already own two houses and I drive a brand new Mercedes, I want you to notice that…not because you have to be materialistic, but because what I look like, what kind of person I am, what I own, how much I make, what I’ve accomplished in my life, all these little things are who I am and I want you to be able to appreciate every aspect.
Good for you, but most of these are not things that make or break your potential as a long term partner.
It’s both …we are very shallow at times and you have been unlucky …but it sounds like the type of guy u want might not be the one to come up to you , he maybe the quiet one chillin just minding his own …u might have to make a 1st move on that one
How do you know they don’t notice these things?
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based on the post your personality really sucks lol so its not surprising that people only value you for your other attributes. invest in your personality and things will change.
Fwiw I’m a man and I feel the same about women. It’s not just my looks (I’m pretty good looking but not model level handsome or anything), but a few other things too like my voice and the way I speak and act. But all superficial stuff. They might get really excited about me right off but it never ever goes deeper. It’s pretty depressing actually.
Safe to say you’ve been unlucky, it’s just trickier with women in your position as you seem to intimidate men that might want to get to know you past what they see on face value. You’ve just got to try and show what you want them to actually see, maybe change a little be more approachable (not that you’ve not been) so to say