I don’t have a problem talking to other people, in fact i like it. But, sometimes i get this problem that the other person, whom I’m talking to, is saying something and my mind is just blank. I useless get stressed when i don’t know what to say, so i guess the only thing my brain comes up with in these types of situations is ‘yes’. But as you could imagine, that’s not an option for me, i see other people who don’t have that problem, why do i have that? And most importantly how do i get rid of it?
1 comment
Deep breath, and give yourself a few seconds to answer! Often if you train yourself to wait 2-3 full seconds before responding, the other person will go on talking. This can buy you a little more time, and lets you get a little more info. It’s okay to say, “yeah,” and nod to show you’re listening/agreeing here and there. To carry the conversation, though, you’ll need to say more once they’ve completed a thought.
When you can’t think of a good comment or statement, ask questions! People love answering questions about themselves in particular, so if you can squeeze in a non-intimate question about them, their knowledge, or their experience, that’s even better.
If someone’s talking to you about their work, for example, you can say something like,
* Wow, that’s really cool. Did you always want to get into that field, or did it just happen?
* That’s a cool field, though. Is that what you went to school for?
* Whoa, that’s crazy. What’s your favorite thing about working there?
Some of these may change the subject slightly, but most people are happy to talk about themselves or their opinions.
You can also make statements that nudge them to elaborate without making you seem boring.
“Wow, I bet you learned a lot about xyz doing that job.”
TLDR; There’s a lot of pressure involved when you want to make a statement that sounds informed or interesting, so when in doubt, ask questions or nudge the other person to talk about their interests, experience, or opinion.