How do you tell an “orbiter” from a regular straight male friend?

17 comments

1. That’s the fun part. You can’t. By the time you figured it out, they are already shooting their shot. 🙃

2. If you’re a pretty girl, you have no straight male friends who wouldn’t bang you if you asked them to.

   An “orbiter” is a guy who makes their life worse in pursuit of approval from the girl who considers him a “friend”.

3. Learnt something new today! Neat.

4. Wtf is an orbiter?

5. What’s an orbiter?

6. Orbiter is most likely the ugly fucker of the group

7. I would say the amount of effort they put into the friendship. I sympathize with women having to deal with men being disingenuous in friendships but they need to be realistic about what actual friendships are like. If a dude is constantly initiating and putting in effort, putting you first and paying for stuff he is likely not interested in just being your friend.

   It really irritates me when women complain about losing a “great friendship” with a guy that is 100% just him giving her a free trial of dating him and acting like that amount of effort is normal.

   If the effort in the friendship is not at least somewhat equal then the guy wants to get with you. Realistically look at the effort YOU are putting into the relationship and weigh it against theirs, if it’s one sided re-evaluate the friendship.

8. I’m not an orbiter, I am honestly your friend, and I like hanging out with you when we can. But eventually you’ll want to sleep with me, and I’ll say “OK” because I do have an honest affection for you, but really it was your idea because I’m not pushy. We’ll still hang out, but whenever you want to get laid, and if you’re not seeing anyone, you’ll call and suggest that you come hang out this weekend. I’ll know what you really mean. I’ll make us a nice supper, we’ll watch a cool movie, we’ll enjoy our genuine friendship, then we’ll go to bed and that will be nice. I’ll make you breakfast in the morning, and you’ll say good bye and head out.

   Eventually you’ll get a serious BF and that will be the end of the benefits. We’ll stay friends, though. You aren’t going to still sleep with me because neither of us are OK with that. If you break up with that BF, you might not want to go back to sleeping with me and that’s OK, we were friends before we were sleeping together and we’ll still be friends.

9. The easiest one to spot is the guy who shot his shot initially, but you declined. And now he’s just hanging around as a friend like it’s cool and the rejection didn’t matter. He’ll tell you that, and say things like you’re still a cool/fun/good person to be around. But really he’s hanging around hoping you’ll change your mind, or that the guy you’re really into doesn’t work out and he can step up for the rebound.

   If it’s not for you, then it’s your friends. If you’re attractive, then your friends are likely attractive. He’s hoping one of them will take interest and you’ll put them on.

10. If he shares a common interest or hobby with you and he’s more about the hobby than you, then he’s just a friend. If he asks questions about other women he’s interested in and seeks advice when he’s around you, then he is only a friend.

11. A friend is more likely to tell you no and not jump to help you out immediately. An orbiter won’t pass up a chance to seem more appealing.

12. An orbiter will give in to your desires at the expense of himself or other people. True friendship is not one sided.

13. I always advise women to just get gay male friends to avoid this sort of thing, if you are friends with straight guys, as an attractive woman there’s a 99.9% chance that they do want to or would fuck you

14. An orbiter is someone who she’ll never give that sweet sweet pussy to.

    An actual “friend” is someone she gets a little closer to because it’s someone she could get with when she’s single.

15. Does he treat you like all the other guys/girls? If so, you’re a friend. If he treats you better than he does everyone else, he likes you.

16. In my experience, “orbiters” are the “regular friends” aka the norm, the majority.

    Orbiters usually accept very one-sided and exploitative relationships. Allowing themselves to be used with little to no payoff and still forcing themselves to act satisfied around her, even though the frustration and resentment comes out of every pore if you look closely. This is usually characterized by a lack of self-interest and irrational “lashing out” by the guy as well as purposeful strategizing by the woman to keep leading him on. About as toxic as it gets.

    Rarely seen an actual friendship between a man and a woman below a certain age.

17. First Your friend will get married and leave you.

    Then the orbiter will get bored and find someone who reciprocates and will leave you !

    Congrats The friend zone you created is now your your lonely planet.