I’ think I’m starting to get romantically attracted to a workmate whom I closely work with. She complements me in many ways. I’m cold, scientific, and logical. She’s warm, creative, and conscientious. I often find myself consulting her (I am ranked higher in terms of position at work btw) even if it’s unnecessary as I trust her judgment.
I know how complicated it would be if I confess and fail. She’s also much older (7 years) than I am and I afraid she might think of me as a child or someone less mature. I am trying not to show that I like her but I don’t know if she had noticed. She is very perceptive.
**tl;dr-** Any advice on what I can do (or not do)? I must admit I am not well-versed in matters of love. I have had my heart broken twice by girls that I loved. Perhaps because of my cold, calculating nature.
1 comment
It is generally not advisable to become romantically involved with someone you work with. It complicates your careers if the relationship becomes dramatic, or even if it doesn’t. This goes double if you work in the same department or there’s a power imbalance.
If you intend to pursue this, however, I’d advise getting away from the idea of ‘confessing’ – it’s a selfish way of approaching relationships to just dump your feelings on someone and leave them to deal with it. You know that you like this woman, but it’s unlikely you know much about her inner life that isn’t shown at work.
If you want to explore the potential of a relationship with this person, do not ‘confess’. Ask her to meet you for a drink after work/at lunch/whenever. I would not advise framing this as a date right off the bat, and instead just frame it as friendly – it gives you the ability to feasibly walk it back without making things awkward if it goes badly, and nothing is lost. If it goes well, then it can be a date next time.
Talk about things unrelated to work. Get to know each other as people. See how it goes.