What’s a story that you always share?

I was chilling at a Football bar and I saw a liberal enter. They were carrying a suitcase with a bomb, so I yelled “There’s a bomb in there! Get down, now!”. I punched one of the libtards in the face, then I took the Uzi 9 millimeter and shot everybody. I threw a stick at one snowflake and said “stick around”.

One guy took a hostage, so I said “Go ahead…make my day”. Then shot him in the face.

Next thing you know, I’m outside and there’s a helicopter shooting at me and a tiger running at me. I just laughed and told the guy next to me “I’ll be back”. I punched the tiger in the face (suck it, vegans) and threw the bomb at the helicopter. As the explosion happened, I just walked away slowly, with my sunglasses on while smoking my cigar.

I went back inside just in time for the Panthers to get a touchdown. The cute bartender was staring at me, so I said “hail to the king, baby” and kissed.