My boyfriend and I have not had penetrative sex, but I feel there are some reasons we should communicate as we are in engaging in other activities.
The first reason, is he keeps trying to stimulate my clit. I do not like this, he is not hurting me or doing anything that feels uncomfortable, it is just a matter of preference. I don’t enjoy it or even touch it when masturbating. It does not make me cum either, I have a couple times but have found it is not reliable or pleasurable. I am open to exploring it with oral sex, as very rarely it can feel good but not often. I have found, I get much more pleasure from vaginal stimulation and can only reliably get off from stimulating the g-spot, not with the clitoris. He isn’t doing anything wrong, he is just making the safest assumption, which is the fact the majority of women need the clitoris to orgasm, and I am not judging him for this, but I am in the minority where that somewhat does not apply and it is the exact opposite. I would like him to know this, he already has asked if I masturbate and I said I do, but I feel I should’ve elaborated further on what exactly that entails. I would like to know his preferences as well, but as this is my first partnered sexual experience, and he is more experienced than me, I’m having some trouble with communicating and would appreciate any suggestions on how to bring these things up. Thank you in advance.
2 comments
Just tell him while. You’re in that situation. You’re doing the most intimate deed you can and I can assure you he. Wants you to feel as good as is possible.
Honesty is always the best policy. We need to learn to communicate our needs and desires authentically, which can feel awkward and embarrassing at first. The best way to approach this is to have a heart to heart conversation while you’re NOT in the act of having sex. Sit down on the couch together and have an open dialogue about what feels good, what doesn’t and what you’d like more of. Be sure to start with a positive affirmation, something along the lines of “I love when we are intimate and I really appreciate that you want to please me”. Then tell him that while most women like clitoral stimulation it’s not your favorite thing. Tell him you much prefer G spot stimulation and it feels really amazing when he fingers you. You can then ask him if there’s anything he’d like more of.