Hi everyone! I made a reddit account today and I am looking for some help. I feel I am in a weird spot and I just want some outside opinions and advice on how to move forward.
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (18F) for about two years now, however it’s been strictly online until this year when we finally was able to meet up during this Summer as she transitioned into College. I also started trade school this year as well around September. So we’ve have been slowly transitioning from an online relationship to a ‘real one’. We have met up about only 6 times since I can only afford to meet up with her once a month. We are often both busy focusing on out schoolwork and I can’t afford to go as often as I would like to. My girlfriend has been having a great experience in college so far and I am sincerely happy for her as she’s able to make more friends and create a social group catered to her. I haven’t had any issues with anyone until someone she’s met 3 days ago. I have met this person through text and they seem like a pretty cool person and for about 2 days we all bonded and got to knew each other. After a while he decided to mess with me by calling me a pet name. (For clarity, he decided to call me ‘his little ladybug’) Me and my girlfriend have specialized pet names for each other and we gave them meaning and value behind them. We tend to publicly show or say them on rare occasions. He noticed this and asked her about it. She explained it to him and eventually he decided to do this. It honestly put me in a constant loop of anger, sadness, and confusion. I was not too sure why it bothered me so much. I came to the eventual conclusion that I did not like a pet name closely similar to mine being used. It is also worth mentioning that he came up with the idea and told her about it and she reinforced it by telling him to specifically say “my”. I told my girlfriend how I felt about it and we spoke about it for a while. She said she was sorry as she did not want to make me feel that way and she eventually said that I was jealous or in her view of jealousy, envious and angry towards people who use pet names other than us. I don’t think this is the case as I am well aware that many people have pet names for each other and that has literally never bothered me before. This is the first time something like this has happened bothered me. Despite the fact it was used strictly on me I still felt uncomfortable and angry. Even though I don’t think it is the case I still feel it’s up for consideration but I am unsure. Maybe what I feel is jealousy and much more. Maybe it isn’t jealousy.
What exactly am I feeling, how should I approach forward and what is the best and healthiest way to solve this problem. (This is the first time I’ve felt this in our relationship so I would like to know and learn ways to deal with this issue if it’s a one sided issue on my end)
Thank you for reading this and helping me out. All comments are appreciated.