I’ve had terrible experiences with relationships. Two out of the three relationships I’ve ever had have been full of abuse. Both physical and emotional abuse.
I got married less than a year ago, already my husband has choked me on several occasions and has cheated throughout. I also discovered that he had an extensive criminal history that he had been hiding. Myself and my baby daughter were kicked out of our family home by my so-called husband, he physically threw my things out the door. He also physically handled me. I ran to my mothers house and now am homeless. I know I have rights to our marital home but I’d rather be with family.
I am traumatised. I do get jealous as my friends,family and colleagues always seem to get into great long term relationships and marriages I am happy for them though. It makes me sad that I wasn’t able to provide the perfect family for my daughter.
I think I’m pretty content with being single forever, I’d rather be single and at peace. Im quite shy and timid at times and have been a pushover. I have learnt from my mistakes. But I’m not sure if good relationships exist for people like me.
So I’d rather stay out of them.
8 comments
I would recommend that you focus on taking care of yourself and your daughter. It is clear that you have been through a difficult and traumatic experience, and it is important that you prioritize your own well-being and safety. It is never acceptable for someone to mistreat you or cause you harm, and you are right to want to avoid such situations in the future.
While it may be tempting to blame yourself or to think that good relationships do not exist for people like you, it is important to remember that you are not at fault for the actions of your husband. You deserve to be in a healthy and loving relationship, and there are many people who would be willing to treat you with the respect and kindness that you deserve.
In the meantime, focus on rebuilding your life and finding stability for yourself and your daughter. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members, and seek out professional help if you need it. You are strong and resilient, and you will get through this difficult time.
This is probably not the worst idea but you will probably change your mind. Where do you find the men you date?
Ok advice, stop looking for a relationship and start looking for like people you have fun with. You don’t need to like actively seek out a relationship just like go with the flow and if nothing happens again ok but u shouldn’t cut urself off like that
Get a lawyer. Being alone at this time sounds like a great call! Enjoy all of that family support! Happy Holidays!
So very sorry to hear that you are going through this. It’s very sad to read. I know that you have just suffered trauma but I can assure you there really is a light at the end of this tunnel.
It’s okay to be single. But during this time I would like to suggest you take the time to heal and do some reflection.
After I left an abuser back within days before Christmas many years ago I swore I was done with relationships. I took time to vent, and then after a while I made a promise to myself never fucking again! I realized that it may not be realistic to believe I will be single forever (that love bug has a way of biting you in the ass went least expected). Therefore, I thought about how I may either overlook red flags or not be aware of them. I first promised myself that no matter what, no matter how much I am crazy for some one, if they show me any red flags, I will dump them. I recognized it would hurt, but I already learned the hurting of trying to stick with some one like that, which is worse. Once I established that promise, I took the time to research red flags both great and small as well as learning about my self value and worth. I worked on figuring what it was about myself that may make me more prone to selecting these type of men. I learned that maybe I also should not be ready to over look men who are more like bums that can’t afford dates, or gie me songs and dances that involve bad mouthing exes and such. A whole lot of things I learned and stuck true to my promise. You know what? I am now with the most wonderful man. Even before him all my boyfriend’s after that last abuse were good and I have no bad words for them. All positive experiences even with the ones we parted ways. The man I am with now I will be marrying and he treats me like gold. I am sharing all this because I remember that day right before Christmas when I wrote off men and was suffering PTSD (I almost got killed). And now? It’s a distance memory. For you? 10 years from now, this POS will also be a distant memory. Chin up!
I’d say that that sounds like a solid plan, relationships can bring a lot of joy but considering you’ve experienced nothing but shit I’d imagine the fear of “what if?” overrides the hope
This is a very normal response to being abused by a partner. The idea of relationship becomes very frightening.
Nothing is wrong with you. It’s good to stay single and heal for a few years anyway after severe abuse. Maybe you’ll change your mind later, maybe not. Either is ok.
Sorry to hear that OP
Abuser are the worst kind, I would suggest IC ( therapy) it will help you with your recent trauma.
Don’t say that OP, you deserve to be in a good relationship and it was not your fault ( don’t believe otherwise)
Stay safe OP