Last week there was a social event with 30 or so employees from work that I’ve never met before. Learned about it through a non-official company discord group. At the event, I hung out with a few folks I never met before and I like them (similar interests and demographics are very similar to previous friend groups I’ve had fun with). We work at the same company but it’s a big company. At the hangout, one of them added me to a group chat with a subset of the employees that were at the event too.
The group chat is organizing a social gathering where everyone is bringing food to someone’s place. I’m not sure if I should respond/attend for the following reasons:
– I can tell some of them know each other well and a few seem to be getting to know each other better. Maybe me saying I’ll come and bring <insert food> would mean I’m intruding on them? I don’t wanna go and then realize like “oh no I shouldn’t be here” or see ppl’s facial expressions be “who are they and why are they here?”
– I don’t know them well. I know most or all of their names/faces but beyond introducing my name, I spoke to like 3 of the 10 ppl that are in the group chat.
– Of the 3 ppl I spoke to, like 2 of them didn’t respond (yet?) in the group chat so idk if they’re attending. Those are also the only 2 whose numbers I have.
– since the social event with 30 or so ppl, I have shared something over text or discord to 3 ppl (who are in the group chat). Gauging from them all responding within two hours and their responses, I’d say 2 of 3 ppl might like me (they are also the two ppl who haven’t replied in the group chat).
– idk who the host is because I don’t have contacts/names for most of their numbers so idk who is saying what in the chat
– idk if they will like me, I didn’t say much when I hung out with them tbh.
– What if I go and my dish sucks. I’m not a good chef but I have a dish in mind that I can bring. I don’t put much salt in what I cook (because I’ve usually already eaten something with sufficient salt) so I’m not sure if I’ll have the right amount of salt.
– if I went, I can’t really leave whenever without looking bad. I can leave regular hangouts whenever by making up an excuse but I feel like showing up to a potluck implies I’ll be there for the duration of the potluck (plus I would need to take my dishes back, or leave them there)
I don’t say much, been trying to work on that. I’m not sure what to say to people or ask about. Running thru scenarios in my head:
* Greet host whom i don’t know
* I’ll have to heat up my food and set for serving and speak with people
* Will sit down at an available seat and must make convo with nearby ppl. Probably makes sense to at minimum get to know the host better before leaving.
* Help the group and host clean and make conversation while doing so.
I think there’s a large surface area of risk in attending.
I also think if I keep only attending social events that are low risk then I won’t be attending much which means slower progress in social skills. But I also want to be considerate of them and I really don’t want to potentially disturb them.
I liked the vibe of the people I spoke to so I want to get to know the individuals of the group better. And if things go wrong then I could totally never see them again if I didn’t want to.
Looking for thoughts on: Am I allowed to attend? If so, should I attend?