my (22f) bf (26m) have been together for about 2.5 years ish. let me preface this by saying that i’m the eldest daughter of a pretty conservative asian family (so basically i don’t have much freedom when it comes to most things). i’m currently home for my gap year, so i’m living under their roof and financially dependent on them. back in college, i used to sleep over at my bf’s place a lot because i could sneak out and do it. now that i’m back at home, my parents are super strict and set a curfew for me and don’t want me to be at my bf’s house because they’re afraid im going to pop out a baby or something.
anyways, my bf has been pressuring me/joking in a way to strongly imply that he wants me to sleep over. he’s like “my \[asian\] parents are fine with it, why can’t you just tell your \[asian\] parents that you’ll be at my place” and then uses the fact that we’ve been together for a while to say i should easily be sleeping over. i just feel like he doesn’t understand the dynamic of my family, and it’s not so easy to just change their mindset. i’ve been trying slowly, but i feel like he’s just not being appreciative of the efforts i’ve made so far. how should i approach getting my parents to open up more, as well as getting my bf to be more understanding of my situation?
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tldr; strict asian parents won’t let me sleepover at bf’s place, and bf doesn’t seem to understand why i am unable to. causing strain on my relationship and self esteem
1 comment
I guess part of his concern is probably over boundary setting with your parents in general, and how much they are going to dictate the future of his life and yours. If you can’t stand up to them and say that you want to go stay at his place, will you be willing to draw boundaries in other ways? That would be part of my concern in his shoes. It would probably be good to talk more about it.