Hey guys,
My girlfriend and I wanted to spend the next year or two saving up, so we can get our own place. When we talked about this, her parents brought up that I can move in with them and help pay rent. We talked about it and the parents are only asking to help keep the house clean plus paying $500 in rent. My girlfriend said she will help pay half of that, so it’d be $250 on my end.
For some context, we’ve only been together for four months. I am 26 and she is 24, but both of us are attending college to obtain a career. I have never had a partner that wanted to live together nor have I ever lived anywhere else away from my parents. The plan is to live at her parents place to save money and finish our education
Would this be a good idea? She believes it’d be a great start for us to actually start saving together for a place and we both have a goal to work towards. It wouldn’t be us wasting years away living at her parents house
If I’m being honest, I want to take this opportunity to live with her because it’d be a completely new experience for me. It’s a new environment and a situation I never been in before. It’d also be a way to start being ‘independent’ though I’m just weirded out to move away from my parents to someone’s elses folks. Her parents and I get along with each other very well and they are actually the one that keep asking when I’m moving in. I’m always staying over every other day or at least half a week. My parents don’t ask for rent but I do pay $250 in total for bills (water, wifi, and electric). Also, I work from home and everyone else doesn’t, so I’d be having the house to myself for majority of the day. My plan is to do chores during my downtime when I’m not doing anything at work to keep ahead and not let things pile up
Additionally, my parents are not in good terms with each other that is on the verge of divorce. My relationship with my parents is strained and the house is very quiet because everyone keeps to themselves nowadays go avoid an argument. They havent divorced but it’s been something that reminds me my living situation with my parents can change at any day, so it doesn’t feel stable for me anymore
Any advice is greatly appreciated
Tl;dr:
I’m not sure if I should move in with my girlfriend at her parents house. Im somewhat skeptical about moving away from my parents to my partner parents house
2 comments
Four months is pretty quick to move in together – especially when you have never lived on your own! Generally speaking, I would probably not even consider moving in with anybody before we’d been together at least like 8-12 months, especially if there’s no urgent need to get out of your current living situation. So much can change in the first year of a relationship, and the situation could easily become unstable.
That being said, having the easy back-up of moving back in with your parents takes a little bit of the edge off.
Moving in with gf’s parents can be tricky. They will see you at highs and lows, and feeling like you have to be on all the time (if you would feel that way) could be draining. Seeing somebody about half the week is quite a bit different than seeing them every single day rain or shine.
If the goal is to work toward you and your gf moving into your own apartment, my inclination is to just keep doing that saving anyway, and move into your own place together in a year or whatever instead of moving in with her parents.
Don’t do it brother – either way you’ll be saving $250, right? Once you move in living at HER Parents home things will change. Her behavior towards you will change as well (most likely in a negative way). When it comes to relationships you must LEAD. That’s what it means to be a man – and that’s the foundation of attraction. Also keep in mind you’ve only dated for a few months, there’s a lot you don’t know about each other. When you have arguments living with her at HER parent’s home or god forbid you break up.. what happens? You will have to move out Abs and find a new place not her.
Build yourself up, keep saving and working on yourself study female nature more brother and give it some more time. If things go well you two can get a place together – however that should be in 2-3years. Living with a woman is not as easy as it seems especially considering your circumstances