Why is that people who go out on dates have to make a relationship exclusive? Why not just go out and then naturally you become “exclusive” because you’ve been together for a while. If you wouldn’t be compatible, wouldn’t you already break up with the person anyway?
Why is it that people take it so seriously being exclusive, like they’re getting married! I hear a lot of people say “I want to date him/her because I don’t want to make this serious decision (exclusivity) yet”. You’re going out with the person and if it doesn’t work, you just go separate ways, exclusive or not.
Why is it is complicated and serious?!
8 comments
It’s not a big deal but let people live their lives. If it makes them happy, so be it
The problem is that, these days, if you don’t specifically have the conversation “are we in a. Exclusive committed relationship” then the other person is free to sleep with / date other people on the grounds that “you aren’t my boyfriend / girlfriend” or “we never said we were exclusive so I didn’t do anything wrong”
It’s important because it’s a clear verbal agreement saying the two of you are on the same page about what your relationship status is.
Well it’s their own preference on dating and a boundary they set within their own belief system on relationships. Honestly it’s really not a big deal, it’s just a preference. And if it is a preference you have to respect if you are pursuing them.
Because it makes it clear on where you stand where each other.
Kinda seems like you might be reducing dating to monogamous relationships, where ideally you meet one person and build a relationship with them if you’re compatible. But that’s not how everybody sees relationships and that’s not everybody’s goal. Open relationships, polyamory, casual relationships, fwb-arrangements and committed relationships are all equally valid options, but the rules are different. So that is why it’s important to verbally establish that you want to play by the same rules.
If you don’t specify exclusivity, then people may continue seeing other people. It important to understand each person’s expectations and boundaries in a relationship
Because communication of wants, needs, expectations, etc is a basic part of being in a functional relationship
41 M. In some ways I agree with you. Only thing however is that I think you do need to define the relationship. However my issue is that society has decided to add another step of late. In my world you “define the relationship,” which means you’re BF/GF. Which again in my world, means you’re exclusive. Exclusivity is thus an unspoken rule of being in a relationship.
HOWEVER, some people are now changing that. They say now that you have to first define the relationship, and THEN agree to be exclusive. Or the other way around. Either way, it’s turning into two different conversations. Which I feel is a mistake. Things that used to mean one thing are now being twisted. What next, does “I do” take on other meanings?