Sometimes when I’m kissing my boyfriend (24M) and I go to touch him, he’s soft. He seems insecure about it but could it be that he’s not attracted to me? He also goes soft sometimes during sex.
It’s confusing because he seems to want to have sex but does he not want to have sex with me?
My ex’s would be hard if I was just near them. This is starting to make me overthink. Has anyone experienced this?
5 comments
Not all men are the same. Not every man gets hard just kissing. As for the soft during sex, that could be 100 different things that have nothing to do with you. Do look into it so much, just work with him.
Honestly I dated a guy and when he got excited but nervous he would often go soft. Then he got embarrassed and that made it worse lol he eventually got over it
Look, sometimes our bodies don’t cooperate. Stop making this about attraction and being sexy.
There’s a ton of reasons why erections come/go for men. It could be physiological, it could be psychological. Feeling like “it must be me” is just your insecurity talking though.
If he wasn’t attracted to you, the signs would be a lot more obvious than “his erection comes and goes”. Don’t make a mountain out of his molehill.
Also, you don’t explain whether “going soft during sex” means that he’s not hard 100% of the time vs. he goes soft during actual PIV sex. The former is totally normal. The latter would point to either a physiological or psychological issue that’s interfering with his ability to sustain an erection despite stimulation.
Not all men go hard just my kissing, we are all different. Some men like foreplay to get aroused and hard, just like women do.
Try touching him and do some foreplay. If it takes a while it might just be nerves. Take time!