What was your experience like dating a insecure or victim blaming person?

12 comments

1. [removed]

2. No it just gets more exhausting.

3. It gets better when you leave them

4. Awful. It didn’t get better in my experience. It gets worse.

5. Not unless they are going to therapy and doing the homework.

6. They are the most exhausting people to deal with. Point blank period.

7. She cheated on me lol

8. I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do to make them feel secure in our relationship, and by extension, themselves. They ended up seeking out other women after we broke up (possibly ones they felt like were more on their level and/or lesser than them/me*) who are almost the complete opposite of who I am.

   I still have a lot of love in my heart for this person, so I hope one day they take a moment to be alone and get to the root of their issue. But they have to do the work and come back to me if that’s what they want. Reaching out and potentially interfering with their journey won’t yield the results of a possible future together.

   If you love this person, let them go and give them the time and space to make their own decisions.

   *No shade on their looks, they’re all pretty. However, as far as current occupation/income/lifestyle, they’re a bit more in the beginning stages of getting themselves together whereas I’m somewhere in the middle. Not quite ready to settle down; but also no longer interested in casual dating or making risky choices without caring about the consequences.

9. Former insecure woman here. Prior to being properly medicated I was so clingy and self conscious that I was absolutely insufferable. I wouldn’t have dated me if I was the last woman on earth. If it’s within their control and they choose to keep that mindset, it will only get worse over time.

10. [removed]

11. pretty bad. my last boyfriend struggled with retroactive jealousy concerning my previous three relationships, specifically my last one because i guess it was more serious, despite the fact that i never talked to (or even thought) about my exes

    i tried everything i could think of to soothe his insecurities but at some point i just gave up like i had no idea what i could possibly say/do short of travelling back in time and staying single until 28

    so in my case, it didn’t get better over time. it just made me feel tremendous shame and guilt over (i kid you not) having sex with my previous boyfriends

12. Emotionally abused me & gaslit me like crazy. told me, knowing that i have been SA’d, that women shouldn’t dress certain ways if they don’t want men to act that way towards them. He ended up being racist, homophobic, and sexist and i ended it. I cried every night when we were together but when we broke up, I cried once and that was it.