My friend constantly does these half-assed invitations where he’ll let me know what he’s heading to an event and he’ll send a “see you there?” text at the end. I usually respond with, “cool! could you let me know if you go and I’ll join!”. Then, I never get a response back and 30 minutes later he posts that he’s there on his story.
This happens so often and it just feels so disrespectful. Like, you have time to post on your story but you can’t send a simple “i’m heading over now” text? What’s the point in even telling me in the first place? Did you want to see me or not?
How can I bring this up to him? I’m very petty so my natural reaction is to just straight up ignore him or make some sarcastic comment, but I don’t think that’s a very healthy thing to do if I want to continue this friendship.
TL;DR — my friend is giving me mixed signals on whether he actually wants to invite me to stuff. How should I confront him on this?
5 comments
If he didn’t want you there he wouldn’t invite you. Yes he could text you back and answer your question but he probably off have a good time after he arrived. Don’t expect the dude to hold your hand the whole way
I don’t think this is a mixed signal.
It seems more like he’s being casual and not pushy about inviting you out. “See you there?” isn’t particularly indirect, it’s just not bonking you over the head with the invite. You can answer “Totally! I’ll be there at 8 or so,” or “Ahh thanks but not tonight, gotta wake up stupid early tomorrow :/”
>he’ll let me know what he’s heading to an event and he’ll send a “see you there?” text at the end…
>you have time to post on your story but you can’t send a simple “i’m heading over now” text?
Isn’t the first message *already* the “I’m heading over now” one? The way you’ve written this you’re expecting him to come and pick you up or something? I don’t see the problem to be honest. If he says ‘see you there?’ why not say ‘are you now leaving? I can be there at Time X’?
It’s not mixed signals and there’s no need to bring it up. If he wanted you to come somewhere he would make sure that fact is very clearly communicated to you. He is showing you that he doesn’t care whether you go or not.
It sounds like you two have different communication styles. People have posted their interpretations of your friends loose invites but if you’re feeling undervalued then the only way to fix that is to communicate with your buddies.