I 20f am literally pregnant with his kid and he went behind my back with this girl, while lying to my face about it. He asked for a second chance and I’m just so hesitant to go through with it. I know deep down in my heart that I’m only playing myself for a fool, but I don’t have many options.
I told him it was a deal breaker if she was still going to be around but he was so insistent she has to stay. He says she’s been there for him and that he absolutely can’t drop her. I will never be okay with that. He tells me that he told her we are together now and that she will only stay a friend, does he think I’m stupid?
I told him he was being unfair and he had the audacity to tell me he knows but she’s just that special. I can’t do this anymore and just want it to be over. I’m losing my mind and sleep just crying about it. I guess I just need extra encouragement to fully leave and do better for myself. I don’t want to feel like anyones option. I don’t want to feel ugly and insecure and wonder what she has that I don’t. Please help me.
TLDR; he wants to keep the girl he cheated with in his life, while still being with me
30 comments
You know what you need to do. We know what you need to do.
Leave girl. A baby is on the way you don’t need 2
HELL no.
All the hell no, in fact.
Dump him, find a man who respects you and legit loves you. Like you said, you shouldn’t be anyone’s second choice, and the fact he wants to keep her in his life? What a clown
I’m sorry you’re dealing with such an immature “man”
Jesus Christ leave this clown. You are pregnant, I’m guessing at the stage where you can’t change it, you cannot subject yourself and your future baby to this man’s absolute lunacy.
You deserve someone who thinks *you’re* “just that special”. Someone you know would cut anyone out for you, but would never have to.
Woman. Grow a goddmaned backbone and get a good family court lawyer.
You are his security and his “friend” is his want.
Dump his sorry behind and take him for EVERYTHING in family court. His side piece won’t like him so much when he is having to work 3 jobs to pay child support.
Dump him!!! He obviously doesn’t value or respect you and your child! Him not letting her go is a huge red flag. If he cannot respect you, you don’t need him. You know what’s best for you and your baby.
He’s basically asking for permission to cheat on you again. You deserve better. Focus on you, your health and what you want/need moving forward.
20 and pregnant by an a-hole?
Is it too late to terminate the pregnancy?
I am amazed by so many of these stories on here that are so similar. OP, he is literally telling you that this girl is more special to him than you are! The girl who is carrying his child. He refuses to give her up. They have already disrespected the hell out of you by cheating. And he just expects you to be okay with him keeping her in his life???? As just a “friend”?? Absolutely fucking not. If you allow this, you are giving him the green light to cheat on you again and again. Let her have him because you’re better than accepting the scraps he’s willing to give you! The only way this would work is if he completely cut contact with her and worked on fixing the damage he’s done to YOUR relationship. And he’s made it clear he won’t do that. So why are you even considering it? Just No.
You deserve better. Your child deserves to see their momma truly loved and cherished so that they know what love to look for when they’re older. You told him you didn’t feel comfortable with this “friend” in his life and he doesn’t care enough to honor your request. It’s a valid one by the way. Choose yourself. Yes, you’ll probably feel down for a while but in the long run, you’ll be grateful you were able to walk away now before things got worse. Sending you a big hug and wishing you the absolute best. You are so worthy of being loved and respected. Don’t forget that!
Leave, get child support, coparent if he wants. You’re going to have a little one soon that you will love so much that anything you’ve felt for this guy will seem absolutely minuscule in comparison.
You told him your deal breaker, he said she was more important. He flat out told you that she’s more special to him than you, the mother of his child.
You deserve better. Your child deserves a better example of the kind of respect a partner should be shown.
The most glaringly obvious step to trying to recover from an affair is to stop communication with the affair partner.
Not only is he refusing, he said “She’s just that special.”
Nope. Tell him that she can help him pay you child support, then.
Fake. Check the history. Looks like almost an exact copy from her post 2 years ago except that time it was twins. And if not then you need some therapy and contraception because 3 kids being raised without fathers by the time you’re 21 isn’t a good lifestyle for you or your kids.
Why do you need strangers to tell you what you already know?
Nope. Fuck nope. Don’t accept that. Leave and look after you and your baby!! Promise you will be better and feel better for it.
LEAVE. If she’s too “special” to cut out of his life, the she’s “special” enough to cheat on you again with. OP you have to think about your NEEDS like he thinks about WANTS. You need a secure relationship, and he wants to cheat.
What he’s saying is, she is more special than you. If he can’t let her go she matters more than you. He clearly has feelings for her if he never told her about you. Leave, the stress can harm the baby.
Is it too late for an abortion
Oh sweetheart you can do so much better. Don’t let anyone treat you this way
Kick him to the curb and be ready to file for child support!!
Honey, I really think abortion would be the smartest thing to do here. You already have two kids, you are 20 and this man is literal trash. Abort and make a better life for yourself and the two kids you already have.
You’re going to be a mother soon. Is this the kind of relationship you want your child to think is ‘normal?’ If your child came and told you their partner was acting this way, what would you say to them?
Break up with him.
Consult your doctor about your options regarding the pregnancy
I am so sorry that this is happening to you!
If he is willing to lose you just to keep this “friend” in his life then he made his choice.
It hurts now but you will be alright!
Well, I guess he told his decision then
Makes me hope you are still in early pregnancy and have the option to choose.
He’s gonna keep cheating
Imma get mad downvoted for this but:
– first, kick his ass to the curb
– second, how early are you in the pregnancy? do you want to keep it?
If i was with a cheating asshole, I was 20, and I was only like a month in, I’d get an abortion, but that’s all up to you of course.
They are always so special aren’t they? Such supportive good friends! So smart, right? So brilliant! Why should he tell her to go away? -sarcasm-
I have been there. Fuck him