I’m in my 30s so I typically date women ages 25-45. I do prefer older but most older women either already have kids and don’t want any more or don’t have kids and don’t want any. Younger women seem to be on the fence but for the most part its also a no with them.
I have a son with an old FWB who’s not present in the situation so I guess my red flag is being a full time single parent to a toddler and knowing they’ll always be 2nd in my life. A date that had serious relationship, maybe even marriage potential was super blunt about why she doesn’t date guys with kids.
I dont usually mention my son until 3 or 4 dates in when things get more personal, but is anyone else just noticing a total disinterest from women when kids come up?
Edit: To clear it up, when the topic of what we’re looking for comes up I mention my son. That usually happens around the 2nd-4th date, within the first week of meeting. I typically TRY to go for other single parents as long as theres no baby father drama.
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You’re seriously waiting until 3 or 4 dates to tell people you have a toddler and then wondering why they’re disinterested?
That’s totally normal and understandable behavior. Why would you expect eligible women to be excited about a single dad to a toddler?
Are you focusing your search on single moms? Because you should be.
You’re probably going to have a lot more luck if you look for like-minded women. Women who don’t want children aren’t going to be a good bet.
Why aren’t you putting your parent status in your profile? If you’re looking for a long term committed relationship, your status as a single parent is pretty much critical-need-to-know information.
Why does it matter if older women have kids? Our kids are teenagers or
Off to college
It’s not the women OP. It’s you. If you have a kid, you need to be upfront about having a kid when you first meet your matches.
I’d imagine a majority of those women who passed on you were because you waited so long to tell them you have a kid. Not because you have a kid.
Few women under 30 want to date a guy with kids, unless they have some of their own.
By 30, women either have kids, want kids, or don’t want kids.
Those with kids know the struggles, and may not want to deal with it twice over. Those who want kids may be uncomfortable dealing with integrating themselves into a child’s life. Women who don’t want kids… well, they often don’t want someone else’s child either.
So yea. Your best bet is to be upfront and honest. Bringing it up on the 3rd or 4th date is not it.
Bro put the fact that you have a kid in upfront, every girl will think it’s deceitful to keep it hidden for 4 dates.
I’d be absolutely pissed if someone waited 3 dates to tell me they had a kid. I’m nearly 33 and if I wanted a child I’d have one, I don’t and I certainly don’t want to take on the responsibility of someone else’s.
That’s on you! You pretend to be single with no kids on your profile and for 3-4 dates. Of course you will attract people who don’t want children.
Put on your profile that you are a single dad and you will get less matches, but the ones you get will be okay with it.
Unless you just want to fuck. Then don’t tell them
You really should disclose you have a kid prior to a first date. Would save you (and your match) a lot of time & frustration.
It’s such a red flag, basically lying about the fact you have a child. I would be PISSED If I made it 4 dates with a man and then he told me he has a kid. Talk about wasting my time.
Disclose that information before you go on the first date. You’re doing a disservice.
Can we swap women in our dating ranges? I’m child free and skip over more women that want or have children than I can count daily.
You need to disclose BEFORE a date that you have kids. There are fields in dating apps that let you do this. If you keep your child a secret, any woman with self-respect will dump you after you tell her.
There will be women willing to date a man with kids. It’s most likely that these women also have kids.
I’d be soooooo pissed if I got to like a dude over 4 dates and then found out he had a kid.
I never want kids, I’m not good with kids, I wouldn’t date someone with kids.
I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than have anything to do with anyone’s kids personally!
As a CF woman in her 30’s it’s hilarious how many men think that they’re the exception. I don’t want my own kids so why the hell would I want yours? What makes you so special that I should date you instead of a childless man like I prefer. Back when I was dating, it pissed me off to find out that a guy didn’t tell me he was a father immediately. Makes me wonder if you really want a relationship (because of you did, you’d care about what she wants) or if you just want a mommy for your kid.
Some people are so oblivious.
As a woman in her 30’s with a total disinterest of kids, it wouldn’t be the fact that you have a kid that’s the issue. It would be the fact you don’t make it known until 3-4 dates in. Seeing as a lot of women don’t want to date a man with kids, you’d be better of disclosing that information right away. This way you don’t waste time or anyone else’s.
I would never date a man with children because I don’t want children. If I went on more than two dates with someone and they failed to tell me that they were the full time parent of a TODDLER, I would be horrified.
Who is watching this child while you bed women on the first date?
Do you not have toys around your place?
You’re decorating your place and keeping it so tidy that there is no trace of a small child?
I’m more interested in that. It seems like there is a lot of energy going into this deception.
You are a red flag my friend.
Why the eff are you going on THREE dates with someone and not mentioning your son? I wouldn’t be surprised if people are dumping you because you’ve absolutely blindsided them with the fact you have a child
Edit: Just read you’re hooking up on first “dates” and wondering why those women don’t wanna be roped into a relationship with a single father. Lmao you know what bro you got it
Well there is a certain age in which women say “nope” to kids so as a 31M I totally understand. I wouldn’t be the one carrying around a baby in my belly for 9 months plus have to deal with the side effects of the baby plus the risks of having a baby at a later age.
I do think that most women, no matter how much they want a kid, will stop trying or even wanting a kid by age 35. And then in this day & age, having one kid is enough from a financial perspective & work-life balance perspective.
Put the fact that you have a child in your profile. To be honest, I am a woman in my 30s and I love kids. I think the fact that you are a single parent shows you are caring, responsible, and value family.
You’ll find the person you’re looking for if you’re honest from the start. Otherwise you have to filter out the people who don’t want kids when you can avoid that by being upfront about it.
You’re here questioning girls not wanting a kid but you also don’t want to reveal you have a kid until your 3rd or 4th time with them. That’s just deceiving. If your goal is long term, then fess up on the first date and if they truly want you, they will be fine with it. If it’s short term, then I guess it doesn’t matter as much.
And yes, I been wanting a kid but every single chick I’ve gotten with has either tied their tubes or made it clear they do not want kids in their 30s
You eating your and their time. Mention it before the first date. It’s probably the biggest dealbreaker people can have outside being a hatchet serial murderer.
Boi you hiding IMPORTANT information. I would be thinking “what else got this boi I should know about?” Maybe telling them after 6 months xD
I always upfront about children, can’t have them and don’t want them. So while would I spent 3 more dates with a man that tells me then “umm I have a toddler.”
You should mention them before the first date
Most childfree women will not go out with single dads because they are well aware how much time and energy goes into kids. Which I think is pretty considerate. A lot of childfree people know the sacrifices a single parent goes through, which is why we avoid. We don’t want to make those sacrifices. Nothing wrong with that.
Also, it’s crappy you wait till the date 3 or 4 AFTER SLEEPING WITH THE WOMAN before telling her you have a child.
Dude 1.) you gotta tell about kids before the first date 2.) you can’t expect a woman to deal with your problem if they want relationship with you 3.) it’s not their kid they don’t feel the same way about him as you do 4.) if you in the city most women don’t want kids anymore it’s too much money and time
Ok. You need to disclose that you have kids on date one!!!! Any later and it’s perceived as being deceptive. DATE ONE
I think you’re making a big mistake if you wait few dates until you mention you have a kid, you’re just waisting everyone’s time doing that. If a woman is ok with dating a single dad they will be that from the start and if a woman isn’t ok with that you can’t convince her otherwise in few dates.
Put your kid in your bio ffs. That’s what’s holding you back. If you want a relationship you should be looking for a single mother with one, maybe two kids of her own.
Well I liked a guy who had a kid but my logic mind told me he’d always be tethered to his baby mamas demands and that I’d always be second to his daughter; life’s too short for that shit.
A woman I love and would marry in a heartbeat has 2 kids. She’s away working currently. I’m fetching her kids tomorrow (from grandma) and taking them on a playdate I set up for them and then spending a couple of days with them 😀 I love them very much and am so grateful I get to be a part of their lives <3
I’m so lucky their mom loves and trusts me
I would love to see more women who don’t have and don’t want children. It seems like most have them, want them, or even have then AND want more which is insane to me.
Yeah, I have noticed this. I’m not sure where you are, but I live in London, and I’ve assumed that it’s a big city thing where women are more career oriented and less inclined to want to start a family. My girlfriend, who is 35, has made it very clear she’s not having kids. I’m not complaining though, I don’t want them either
I would love to be a «step mom» for a partner’s child. And want kids myself. I am 31 and have always known I wanted kids. But I think it depends a lot in where you live and opportunities for women – if having kids means giving up all your own dreams and your own life, it is a tougher sell than if you know it will just enrich it. With the lack of maternal /paternal leave etc things in the US and knowing how having kids could end my career I would be hesitant too.
No.
Title should read “anyone notice they keep matching the wrong women with a dishonest profile?”
Just put it on there buddy. You’ll get less matches but there’s plenty around who don’t mind guys with a kid.
Try joining single-parent social groups in your area. You’re more likely to meet women who both have kid(s) and are interested in the same things you are. Meetup is a good tool for this.
Having a kid with a FWB is most def. a red flag for a lot of women. Be more upfront about your situation and filter out women not interested in children, pretty simple if you ask me
How are you not asking people what they’re looking for ON THE APP BEFORE YOU MEET? This is like my second or third question out of the gate. Why bother talking, let alone meeting someone, if we’re not looking for something similar? As others have said, you’re wasting your own and everyone else’s time by not being clear about intentions as early as possible
You aren’t super attractive to them to the point that their uterus tingle. And already having kids, while not a hard pass, is not really attractive either.