M29 and F28 we have been married for about 2 years and have been together for about 9 years. recently we had a really bad argument because she thought i was cheating ( i wasnt and proved myself) and while things did get patched up she has been a little distant. the other day i went on my weekly bike ride and ended up crashing badly because my brake lines were cut. no one else is in our home and she could be the only one who would have access to it besides myself. i dont want to start another argument as it could have happened during a freak moment while riding. any suggestions how to navigate this?
48 comments
Well there is a good chance she is trying to hurt you very badly, so yeah it can be a bit difficult to navigate this to get the truth. Take it to a bike shop to have them look at the brakes.
You could make an offhand joke about it to your wife about it.
“When I went biking, I actually beat my time. Pays when I don’t have brakes” then see her reaction.
Lol if she cuts the brake lines in your car then you should worry. I also don’t believe for a second you had a “bad crash” because of this. I think you watch too many movies. Anyone would have noticed their brakes didn’t work before they were conveniently in a dangerous/crash situation. This is all manufactured drama.
I mean, sounds like your relationship is over. You think she cut the brakes and it’s a real possibility, so that’s attempted murder. If she didn’t, you will accuse her of trying to murder you. I mean how do you come back from that? I wouldn’t want to be with someone who I thought was capable of killing me nor would I stay with someone who accused me of this when I didn’t. I mean attempted murder is kinda big.
Just divorce her already.
If she did cut the breaks, that is crazy. If she didn’t and you suspect her for doing it, that’s not okay to stay with someone who you think wants to hurt you
Dude, run. Like today.
Well, if she really did, what you think she did, than it should be your smallest concern how to tell her. It’s more about getting the fuck out of there to save your life.
Honestly, there are a couple of things that could be at play.
1) she says you cheated (with or without proof), you didn’t, she doesn’t believe you, and tampers with your bike.
2) she cheated and she’s projecting that onto you. The only reason I say this is from a saying “if someone points the finger at you they have three fingers pointing back at them.” If the accusation was completely unwarranted and out the blue, and she’s being distant/harming your life, this could be an option.
3) she’s had some sort of mental breakdown/psychosis/medical condition.
If this is true, secure all your plants and contact a divorce lawyer.
She’s C R A Z Y
Don’t talk to her at all. Go to the police.
So she tried to kill you ??? Yea nah I would be seeking a divorce
My boyfriend has a e bike and also had a crash because his break line broke. Not because I tapered with it ..it happens , maybe you shouldn’t jump to conclusions even tho she was upset at u. Js
This, if true is attempted murder. Involve the police. Don’t tell your wife you suspect her just someone has tampered with it.
For reference the OP stated it’s. Heybike ranger, which is an electric bicycle. No reason you’d apply the brakes before setting off and perfectly possible cut brakes would cause an accident in that case.
If you’re thinking she did this then your relationship is over whether she did or not, you obviously think lowly of her.
If you stay with her be ready to get stabbed or worse if she is willing to cut the brake lines.
Take a “brake” from the relationship.
You don’t. You file a police report about the attempted murder, you get your stuff and get to a safe place she can’t find you, and you start divorce proceedings. When someone is a threat to your life, you want to tell everyone around you, make a record of it, and then put as much distance as possible between you. There is no talking that out.
Consider moving out and divorcing
She tampered with your brakes? You need to take your bike to a repair shop and ask if the brakes were tampered with. If she did cut them, she wanted to kill or maim you for something you did not do. It is similar to a man who beats a woman. We would all tell that woman to run and press charges. I am not sure you can press charges but you need to get out of that house and relationship. Who knows what else she has booby trapped. My advice is to get a divorce attorney and advice on how to navigate this situation. And don’t use anything that could be tampered with.
Imagine if the roles were reversed. A man accuses a woman of cheating and blows up at her, cuts her breaks even though she’s innocent. Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean you’re not being abused. This is abuse, she could have killed you, and over what? A misunderstanding? Dude you should run. If she cuts your breaks over this insecurity, what will she do over ner next??
Just say “you tampered with my bike”. Pretty simple.
Attempted murder.
Step 1 – take bike to a police station. Lodge a complaint that the cables were cut.
Step 2 – speak to a divorce attorney.
Step 3 – oh hon, I went to the police about the break cables you cut on my bike – they might have some questions for you. Also, you will probably need your own attorney for the divorce – my lawyers are: x
I don’t see how you can stay with this person. Suppose she once again suspects you are cheating – she could decide to spike your food with antifreeze. JMO, but you need to get away from her.
Take it up with the police.
If this is legit, you’ve got a loon on your hands/
How did you never notice she was this unhinged?
Stop seeking our advice and report your suspicions to the police. If she cut the lines, I agree with others here that she tried to murder you!
Divorce file restraining order take pics of everything file a police report
If the brake lines are cut then that can’t be an accident. Someone did it. Someone who has ready access to your bike when you are not there. You can rule out people on the street, in public places etc. The suspect pool is limited to people who have access to your bike at home. Other than your wife is there anyone else who has the access? The fact that you suspect her is an indication that this is not the first time she has been problematic. Can you place cameras and see what she does when you’re not around?
Move out.
That’s dangerous and abusive behavior. You could have really gotten hurt, and she didn’t care about your physical well being at all. Which is like a basic human thing to do for ANYONE, but especially a person you claim to love. Fight or not, you never put someone you love in potential danger. Ever.
She’s a bad egg.
Having ridden a bike with trash brakes down hills, with cars present, I understand how scared you were.
It might be worth going to a bike shop and asking if it was just wear or if they were cut, surely that would look different.
Don’t accuse her without proof but the fact you think she did it jeans this relationship is likely over.
When you get on your bike, check ABC…air, brakes, chain. Every time.
If the brakes were cut there should be physical evidence. Cut cables look different than parted cables.
Don’t tell her about the brakes nor bring it up.
Convince / tell her to take your bike for a spin and see if she’s hesitant to do so. Her being wary may be a sign that she knows that the bike isn’t safe to ride.
Yeah run. She totally cut your brakes lines and she could’ve killed you. She accuses you of cheating when you aren’t. This is not a healthy or safe marriage. Get better, get an attorney and get out.
You confront her with a police officer present after getting your bike inspected and having a professional confirm the brakes were cut? Or just leave a not that says “I know you tried to kill me.” After you leave.
If your bike is kept locked up somewhere inside, like a garage, that no one else had access too then she’s the only one that could have done it.
Also, people don’t just cut brake lines on random people’s bikes. If someone gains access to your bike they are going to try and steal it. Not tamper with the brakes.
Same exact story except my ex wife said not to watch her make food, I was perplexed as I was at the dinner table but on my phone looking up stuff. She immediately got defensive and said “I’ll throw it away” red flags definitely went up as she is from Venezuela and NO food ever goes to waste, and bitched about it all the time and always said never to waste food
Did I think she was going to poison me, HELL YES!
Get out while you can Man, and make sure she don’t have an insurance policy on you. Other wise we will probably see you on Dateline NBC as a murder special!!
Skip the confrontation, grab your bike and important papers, and discreetly check into a hotel (pay in cash). Take some time to figure out what is really going on from a safe distance.
Does she know enough about your bike to find and effectively cut brake lines?
What would you do if she threw a brick at your head? Do that.
Whether she did it or not and whether you cheated or not you both have major trust issues in each other.
You definitely have a decision point to make, are you willing to do the work to rebuild your own trust in her or would you rather walk away?
If you want to seriously do the work on rebuilding trust you need to ask her to make the same choice. If she is willing to also do the work on rebuilding trust you would be best off working with a couple’s counsellor.
I feel like if you’re at the point where you think your wife might try to murder you, the relationship is probably over. Whether she did it or didn’t do it, you probably aren’t a good fit. There’s no love or trust here.
Is phillip okay now?
This is a police matter isn’t it?
Did you take the bike to a shop and confirm the failure was deliberate or not?
1. Get life insurance
2. Talk to law enforcement as that is attempted murder.
I mean, unless you have solid proof, you’re going to be accusing her of trying to murder you. And, if you’re wrong, there’s no coming back from that accusation.
Is this Bike as is Bicycle or Bike as in Motorbike? One is attempted murder, the other just wants to see you get hurt. Either way this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship
>she thought i was cheating ( i wasnt and proved myself)
My ex used to always say that if I ever cheat on him I’ll be thrown out on to the streets… guess which one of us ACTUALLY cheated? Yep, he did. I’ve not read many other comments but I’m sure others have pointed out that it’s usually the one who accuses that has something to hide. If you’ve got some friends or family you can stay with maybe go “visit” for a few days and take that time to remove any rose-tinted glasses and really evaluate your relationship.