Me and this girl met when i was 15 (were now 17) over the internet. we facetimed, gamed, called, we did everything together (well things we could do) , i even had her moms phone number. well in October 2021 we broke up because it seems unlikely we will be able to meet, i\`\`\`m from the UK and shes from eastern Canada. however it is now april 2022, we still text everyday and have both not been able to find anybody who can fill the place of the other and keep coming back to each other lost. we sit up on the phone crying to each other how we dont know what to do because we just want to be with each other but its so far away and i dont have the money to travel and where i live jobs are rare and i have A levels and other stuff in life so the job i got just didn’t work. i know we are young but the feeling she gives me is unreal, just seeing her smile makes the pain go away, temporarily. Im not the finest young man around but girls do seem to like me so i have had a chance to be around other potential gfs but it just doesn’t even feel the same, and shes literally on the other side of the planet and makes me feel better than any other girl holding me. just the thought of her makes me die inside knowing she isn’t mine at the moment. we both dont know what to do. We cant get back together because the distance is crippling, we cant block each other because we have both agreed a world without each other is worse than not being together. im sorry for any grammar problems im panic typing :/. please just help i feel so lost..
**TL;DR: We just dont know what to do anymore, i need her and i can comfortably say she needs me, but i dont know what to do.**
3 comments
Don’t let long distance get in the way of your love send each other stuffed animals with your cologne/perfume and hoodies/shirts and try to do little jobs if you can work your ass off in school study try to get a scholarship if you need one find a job that you are interested in and study hard for that diploma save every extra dollar and when you have enough go get your girl both of you should work hard to close the distance between you even if it takes a while you’ll find you way to each other
Hey bud, just want to offer my perspective. My first relationship when I was a teenager was also online (way before it was cool haha). We were soooo in love. Talked for years before meeting. It was then incredibly awkward when we met, like to the point where it was hard to hold a conversation. We eventually got over that but the relationship didn’t last.
Fast forward 15 years, I start another relationship with a guy long distance that I met on a trip. We talk every day for a year, facetime for hours, visit each other for amazing trips, the whole 9. Again, soooo in love. He moved to live with me, we eventually got married, then got divorced. I think reflecting back, I really held onto that magical super in love feeling for way too long while we were long distance and didn’t realize the disaster in front of my face when we were together.
All this to say, I have first hand experience of how EASY it is to live in a fantasy. You get all these great parts of another person and it’s not real life at all. You fill all the holes without them with positive fantasy thoughts of them rather than reality. I don’t want to discount what you’re feeling because I’ve been there and it’s absolutely real, but sometimes I think it’s better to accept the spot in your heart that she holds, while knowing that it wouldn’t actually be this perfect if you two were actually together. You’d have all the same relationship hardships everyone else has. You’d fight, she’d get on your nerves, it wouldn’t feel nearly as good as it does right now.
It’s possible it’d work out, I don’t want to say I definitely know it wouldn’t, but if you two are really stuck and can’t be together to give it a good shot, please take my experience and understand that it wouldn’t be as fucking rosy as it feels like now. Wishing you the best.
Hey, I’m 17 as well. I think the best idea to start with is have a heart to heart with your parents about what’s going on. As long as they’re loving and understanding, they will listen to what’s going on.
You should talk to them about;
– Why you love her,
– What you get up to together
– Why it’s hurting you,
– Any possible resolves.
If your parents know this girl well enough, and get along with her parents, then start a bursary. Get a job, save every penny. It may take a few months but once you have enough money for a cheap airline flight to Canada, book a ticket.
If you had the girl’s mother’s phone number, then surely she would be willing enough to pick you up from the airport, and let you stay for a few weeks during the summer holidays. This should rekindle a relationship, and once you’re back home, start saving again.
Keep seeing her until it’s possible for you to live together, maybe stay there for university if you don’t mind the homesickness.
And if things don’t work out, then you’ve tried your best. But telling a girl that you’re starting a fund to come see her will put you two back in love.
OP, love hurts, it’s hurt me, it’s hurt you, it’s hurt everyone one way or another, but the cure for it is hard work, and you’re capable of doing that. You can do it.