Should I cut her off?

21 comments

1. You did the right thing. I’ve been there when I was in college. This girl who wanted to be “just friends” complained to me that she couldn’t find a “good guy”. Definitely a slap in the face. If this friendship is not beneficial for you, you’re not obligated to keep her around. Just be honest with her.

2. she is craving attention and she knows you are in love with her and will easily give it to her. she will drop you for the first guy that comes along that is good looking. you will be crushed and she will get dumped again. you have no value to her other than to boost her ego.

   just cut her off and focus on the girl that actually wants to be with you.

3. Cut it off. Bro. For real.

4. Is this a serious question? If so, what is there to think about?

5. If you guys have a good relationship outside of this then it’s worth talking to her about this. Make it clear in no uncertain terms that you do value her friendship *BUT* you don’t like constantly having this kind of thing dominate your discussions. It’s one thing to need to vent every once in a while, it’s another to constantly do it, and to a former love interest at that. If she can’t handle that she makes you uncomfortable by doing this, cut her the fuck out. If she can be mature and understand that you just aren’t the person to talk to about this then the friendship could easily be salvaged

6. Ghost her. Women like that collect guys to give her an ego boost. I dated a woman like that for a few months and she had tons of guys in her friend zone that she would talk to and flirt just enough to give them hope one day it would work out for them, but going home with me instead.

7. If you’ve set the boundary and she doesn’t respect it, is she a good close friend?

   Friends respect other friends boundaries and regardless of the “why” behind why she is telling you these things she crossed that boundary.

   So the question really becomes do you want to stay friends with someone who doesn’t respect a boundary?

8. She’s treating you more like a venting wall and/or therapist than a friend. If you want to walk away, you should. You could tell her “Look, I don’t want to hear about any or your guy problems, or how you want to be loved. Do not bring it up to me again, ever.” If she complains or she does it again, walk away immediately.

9. I’ve had many of friendships like that my guy. They aren’t actually your friend if the feelings weren’t reciprocated before you stopped giving them attention. As simple as that. Definitely don’t think you’re wrong for how you feel either.

10. Keep her in friend zone not therapist zone

11. “I’m honestly not sure what her intentions are, if she craves the attention and ego boost I used to give her or if she actually cares about me and wants to be close friends?”

    Doesn’t matter either way, not your friend and not going to be your GF, so move on. Life is too short for this shit. She’ll be fine. So will you.

12. I think you should distance yourself and create a boundary between yourself and her. You shouldn’t feel obligated to her choices of what she does to others. She rejected you for a reason. Don’t worry about her. Enjoy your happy relationship with someone who didn’t reject you and likes you for who you are. I think your friend is jealous of your relationship with your girlfriend. Let her be, and you should focus on your relationship.

13. When she could have you, she didn’t want you. Now that she can’t have you, she wants you. It’s a psychological impairment. Cut her off if she’s a drain on your energy.

14. I wouldn’t even want to be her friend honestly. She is just using you as an emotional dumping ground.

    And yeah. She want u to swoon for her again to feel better but she still won’t date u.

15. Since you are now in a relationship you are now more desirable to women in general. Women like men that are chased by other women. I think she is a toxic person in general and she is just using you for attention.

16. Cut her off. Tell her to contact you when she’s ready to date you. You’ve met someone else in the meantime, so she’s SOL. Sucks to be her lol

17. You were her ego boost and emotional tampon, glad you moved from her, if I were you, I would cut ties sooner than later.

18. You are her emotional tempon run fast not slow .

19. Been there bro. Drop her. I dropped mine and she started to get jealous of my.other friends who I genuinely have a friendship with. I spoke to her about the time she rejected me and that she had her chance, and then she turned it on me on how I was supposed to be her friend and that she finnaly saw what she was missing and that she wasn’t ready at the time. But knowing her stories with other guys I simply just didn’t feel the same anymore and chose to be a choice and not the option 🤷‍♂️💪

20. I think you should. It sounds like you weren’t able to go back to being just friends, after you started feeling for her. Which is normal. Sometimes you just can’t go back. Meanwhile, she’s trying to still talk to you like a friend, and refuses to see the new boundaries. Granted, it doesn’t sound like you made it clear that there were new boundaries, in words I mean. But it doesn’t much matter. You gotta be honest with yourself first, and it doesn’t look like you could go back to being friends. Once you have that, then you should be honest with her. Tell her the truth, that after you caught feelings you couldn’t just go back to friends. And that you don’t think it’s fair to either of you if you keep talking with her while you’re dating someone. Then move on with your life.

21. Lots of good advice here and I agree with it. Just want to add that you should also keep in mind that you have a partner now and need to consider them too. Don’t let this friend try to cause issues (intentional or not) and wreck your relationship.

    Keep her at a healthy distance until you can’t tolerate it. If/when that happens, I would cut her off.