So I’ve gotten to know this one girl from my school in the last couple of months. She has always seemed interested in me, but no one had really ever made a big move. Last week we were at a party and things went really well. We ended up dancing and kissing for the better part of the night, and were just about to sleep together but couldn’t find an empty room. We ended up talking on a sofa for some time before she went to sleep… or so she told me.
After this event she has been quite cold and distant, not at all showing signs of attraction or interest anymore. A friend of hers also later told me that she had slept with another guy later that night after we couldn’t find an empty room.
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This hurt quite a bit. By no means do I expect any exclusivity, we have just gotten to know each other, but after complimenting me all night and having so much fun together, to just immediately throw it away and sleep with someone else… I truly felt like she, just as myself, was really enjoying our time together.
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What are your thoughts on this? Would you give her a chance, should she show signs of interest later on? Am I overreacting and letting my emotions get the best of me, or would you consider it disrespectful and not deal with that type of behavior?
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Cheers!
26 comments
Ouch…honestly…I don’t think she’s the girlfriend type.
>seemed interested
Seeming interested and being interested are two different things.
Well someone who has really interest in you would not go and slept with someone else when you fell asleep
Yeah ouch. Not overreacting. Move on, mate.
She just went from guy A to guy B the same night. I am sure guy B feels like they also had a great time together.
Avoid that mine!
You’re overreacting. It’s not disrespectful. She doesn’t owe you anything and you don’t owe her anything. I don’t care how “good” the night is going nobody owes you sex or attention if they don’t want to give it. If she was interested in more she’ll let you know.
It’s normal to feel disappointed though.
I think she just wanted to get laid and isn’t looking for the same thing you are looking for. And if you wanted something serious, why are you getting drunk at a party and trying to bring her to a room to fuck rather than just asking her on a date and building something that way? She didn’t do anything wrong, you just read more into it than was there. You couldn’t give her what she wanted that night so someone else did. And no, I’m not sure what chance you think still exists. It’s time to move on.
It’s definitely sucky, but she didn’t really do anything wrong as you two aren’t anything. Also I don’t think she’s interested in you beyond maybe something physical, if that’s all you are looking for then sure, if she comes around go for it, but don’t expect anything more. Also don’t pursue her, you made your interest known and now is on her to reciprocate, but also don’t wait around.
Seems interested in another dude.
I think you very much know the answer to this question.
If you are looking for something serious then move on as this is something you will never forget .if something casual then maybe but don’t get too emotional attached and don’t approach first.
You mentioned you were at a party and that was the first time she showed interest. If there was any alcohol involved…I would blame that. Sleeping with another guy had nothing to do with you. She just wanted to sleep with someone that night and it didn’t workout with you..girls had needs to deal with ! Or another explanation Girls can be players too!
If you guys were dating it would be a different story. Hell, even if you’d asked her on a date before you guys went your separate ways and she’d accepted it would be a bit of a different story. But it sounds like you just tried to hook up with her at some party and had the bad luck of failing while she succeeded. She didn’t disrespect shit, she got what she wanted. If you can’t live with that then move on.
I understand your annoyance but since she has not even shown you any interest after the event you should probably just let it go and move on
She isn’t looking for anything serious with anyone right now and that is 100% okay and her choice. But you shouldn’t be resentful bc that’s what she chose. Move on to meet women who are more into you. Nothing to over analyze. You both sound incredibly young. She’s having fun and there’s nothing wrong with that. Let her go and meet others.
She is not your girlfriend so she owes you nothing. Not saying that what she did was great but I wouldn’t want to date anyone like you who thinks they own a woman just because they like them. She is single and can do what she wants. She never indicated she wanted to be with you romantically. You sound like a huge red flag , you are obsessing over someone who didn’t claim you. Just date other people and move on.
Move on.
when you’re interested in more than one person at a time, and one of them wants to sleep with you, would you sleep with that person or wait for the other person, whom you are not even sure likes you, much less is wanting to sleep with you?
if you look at it from that point of view, then what she did is fine in her book but it still sucks for you.
so you just have to decide if that’s something you can handle , going forward, or if you want her only to think of you even before you two have even gone on one date.
You two are different. I, as a person who’ve been in the position similar as yours, please just forget about her and save yourself from more possible heartbreaks, and waste of time and energy.
Someone else took priority, move on now
Sorry but the amount of shaming under this post genuinely appalls me. It’s somewhat understandable why you’re disappointed, but at the end of the day you two barely talked / had no commitment to each other. She owed you nothing. It’s not disrespectful. She isn’t “trashy” & she doesn’t inherently have lesser values because you and her want different things. You want a relationship, she probably just wants to have fun—different preferences. End of story.
You could argue that she was “leading you on,” but also y’all literally were looking for a room to fuck in. Context clues. It was painfully obvious she wanted something casual, no matter how well you hit it off prior.
It’s crazy reading the comments & seeing people go “you SHOULD be hurt… but she’s just an easy lay……….” Like it truly shows some of y’all will always have internalized misogyny no matter what you tell people/tell yourself. & before anyone is like “i think hookup culture is bad!!!!!” I’d be willing to bet it’s far less about that and more so just about shaming a woman for being in tune with her sexuality. It’s okay to not be into hookups, but it doesn’t mean you need to demean someone else for having a different preference—a preference that’s literally harming no one else. Like seriously. I had to do a double take bc this self entitled sentiment is so overwhelming in this thread. Just move on & find a girl who’s into the idea of serious dating, that’s all.
She’s not into you.
She might not have done anything morally wrong (especially because you guys aren’t together), but this would still be a huge turnoff for me if I were in this situation. I imagine you soon will feel the same way, once you get over the initial emotional surprise and it’s not a fresh wound.
She’s not wrong for doing it but you also have every right to be sad/upset about it.
Sounds like she was just looking to get laid tbh. Even though she found you attractive and was interested, and even was willing to have sex with you, not having been able to find a place to do it ruined that. You should have just taken her home or something. The other guy probably already had a room to fuck in or they went back to one of their places and did the deed.
In all honesty, even though I’m a guy… If I was in the same position as the girl, I would have done the same lol. This doesn’t mean she’s not attracted to you and wouldn’t sleep with you still but, she wanted to get laid that night and the opportunity presented itself. It’s too bad it wasn’t with you but, I wouldn’t entirely blow her off yet. See how it plays out for the next week or so and if she still isn’t showing any signs of interest, then move on. Never waste your time or energy on someone who doesn’t show or have interest in you.
She outhoed you that night. Just take the L and move on. Next time don’t be a cheap ho and rent a room. Thats the Ho story. And ho ho ho to you this Xmas.
Recreational use only, if she is comfortable enough to sleep with a random man she just meet she isn’t exactly relationships material.
On the off chance she come back don’t buy the young and stupid excuse or I was drunk of any of that bs